Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 84

**trailmaster** · January 26th, 2016, 02:19 PM

What is black, white and red all over. A penguin with a sunburn. Joke source from the t.v. series "Lost"

Estreeter · January 26th, 2016, 02:20 PM

What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl’s ass

What do you call a white person when he’s mad?
A cry baby

What does a white woman make for dinner?
Reservations

MaxJoker · January 26th, 2016, 03:17 PM

It's a twisted sick baffling world that we live in.
My wife passed away due to lung cancer two years ago.
The eldest son has lung cancer as well, while the young triplets all have severe asthma.
Plus the daughter has been diagnosed with lung cancer too.
None of them have ever smoked a damn day in their lives !.
God it`s inexplicable , why why , oh wait a second , need to re-light me pipe.

What is the definition of Trust ?

Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.

Despite having no nominations this year I'm certain that plenty of black folks will clean up at the Oscars.

Once all the whites have gone home.

Explorer Henry Worsley has died during a solo attempt to cross Antarctica to raise money for charity.
Ok so it`s bad news for him.
But great news for me.
As I only agreed to hand over that fiver upon completion.

**SanteeFats** · January 26th, 2016, 05:16 PM

Ryan rings his boss at work and says"Look,i`m really sorry,but i can`t come to work today,i`m sick".
"Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Ryan.Exactly how sick are you?"
"Well", replies Ryan. "I`m in bed with my 9 year old sister"

**Glen Quagmire** · January 26th, 2016, 06:56 PM

A man comes up to the bar and order 6 pieces whiskey.
The bartender asks if there is anything special, he'll celebrate.
The man answers, I will celebrate my first blowjob.
Then the bartender says: I may give you the seventh as gift.
Then the man says: If the first six don't hide the bad after-taste, I don't not think the seventh will do it either.

**Sharkhunter** · January 26th, 2016, 07:22 PM

This works when changing the countries; this is the version found back home in SA.

A South African, and Australian and a New Zealander are walking down a country road on the way to the pub, still hungover from the night before. As they turn a corner, they see a sheep stuck in a thicket, head first so that its arse is up in the air.

The South African looks at the other two and laughs. "Eish, I wish that was Candice Swanepoel."
The Aussie takes a look. "Strewth, I wish that was Elle McPherson."
The Kiwi looks around, and then at his two drinking buddies. "Jeez, I wish it was night."

Estreeter · January 27th, 2016, 12:35 PM

What do a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common?
They're both thinking their Mum is gonna kill them

This family walks into a hotel and the Dad goes to the front desk and asks "I trust that the porn is disabled."

The bloke at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick bastard."

**SanteeFats** · January 27th, 2016, 01:50 PM

Why do Mexicans refry their beans?
-Ever see a Mexican do something right the first time?

What do you call a Mexican baptism?
-A bean dip

MaxJoker · January 27th, 2016, 04:47 PM

Was round a Jewish friends (It could happen ) house today and noticed he had an old looking gold watch on his mantle piece.

"It's an heirloom," he told me "Even survived the holocaust".

"That's incredible" I said "How long has it been in the family ?".

"Nearly a hundred years" My chum () responded.

"On his deathbed my father,

sold it to me, and previously his father sold it to him..."

**SanteeFats** · January 27th, 2016, 06:27 PM

At a meeting in a synagogue, Yossef asks the rabbi: "rabbi, why do people hate us so much?"
The rabbi says "that's an interesting question. How about we all talk about it tomorrow over some vodka? Each one of you should bring a bottle so we can mix it in a big pot and drink, and discuss, and the answer will be clear."
Yossef went home and thought to himself "if everyone else is going to bring a bottle of vodka, if i bring a bottle of water no one will notice the difference."
and water was what he brought.
the rabbi poured all the vodka together in one pot, and started mixing it.
Yossef got anxious - "well, rabbi, what is the answer to my question? why do people hate us so much?"
the rabbi filled a cup and said "drink this Yossef"
yossef did and said "but this is water!"
and the rabbi said "and this is why the people hate us"

January 26th, 2016, 02:20 PM	#832
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,145 Thanks: 449,888 Thanked 896,976 Times in 60,347 Posts	What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass What do you call a white person when he’s mad? A cry baby What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 26th, 2016, 03:17 PM	#833
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	It's a twisted sick baffling world that we live in. My wife passed away due to lung cancer two years ago. The eldest son has lung cancer as well, while the young triplets all have severe asthma. Plus the daughter has been diagnosed with lung cancer too. None of them have ever smoked a damn day in their lives !. God it`s inexplicable , why why , oh wait a second , need to re-light me pipe. What is the definition of Trust ? Two cannibals giving each other a blow job. Despite having no nominations this year I'm certain that plenty of black folks will clean up at the Oscars. Once all the whites have gone home. Explorer Henry Worsley has died during a solo attempt to cross Antarctica to raise money for charity. Ok so it`s bad news for him. But great news for me. As I only agreed to hand over that fiver upon completion. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 26th, 2016, 06:56 PM	#835
Glen Quagmire Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Quahog Posts: 7,850 Thanks: 349,670 Thanked 135,754 Times in 7,868 Posts	A man comes up to the bar and order 6 pieces whiskey. The bartender asks if there is anything special, he'll celebrate. The man answers, I will celebrate my first blowjob. Then the bartender says: I may give you the seventh as gift. Then the man says: If the first six don't hide the bad after-taste, I don't not think the seventh will do it either. __________________ If a image or a link is broken, please send me a pm so I can fix it. Giggidy giggidy! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Glen Quagmire; January 26th, 2016 at 07:38 PM..

January 26th, 2016, 07:22 PM	#836
Sharkhunter Gusset Man & Jizzmaster Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Wanking, but not the city in China Posts: 2,037 Thanks: 5,197 Thanked 34,660 Times in 2,021 Posts	This works when changing the countries; this is the version found back home in SA. A South African, and Australian and a New Zealander are walking down a country road on the way to the pub, still hungover from the night before. As they turn a corner, they see a sheep stuck in a thicket, head first so that its arse is up in the air. The South African looks at the other two and laughs. "Eish, I wish that was Candice Swanepoel." The Aussie takes a look. "Strewth, I wish that was Elle McPherson." The Kiwi looks around, and then at his two drinking buddies. "Jeez, I wish it was night." __________________ "Birth Control Tip #2431: Shoot your load in a girl's mouth or on her face instead of inside her sweet bits. Result: no expensive burden, stretch marks or saggy tits". To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 27th, 2016, 12:35 PM	#837
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,145 Thanks: 449,888 Thanked 896,976 Times in 60,347 Posts	What do a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common? They're both thinking their Mum is gonna kill them This family walks into a hotel and the Dad goes to the front desk and asks "I trust that the porn is disabled." The bloke at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick bastard." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 26th, 2016, 02:19 PM	#831
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,904 Thanks: 1,329,092 Thanked 707,281 Times in 60,078 Posts	What is black, white and red all over. A penguin with a sunburn. Joke source from the t.v. series "Lost"

January 26th, 2016, 05:16 PM	#834
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 814,017 Times in 60,881 Posts	Ryan rings his boss at work and says"Look,i`m really sorry,but i can`t come to work today,i`m sick". "Sick!" screams his boss "Sick! This is the tenth time this month, Ryan.Exactly how sick are you?" "Well", replies Ryan. "I`m in bed with my 9 year old sister"

January 27th, 2016, 01:50 PM	#838
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 814,017 Times in 60,881 Posts	Why do Mexicans refry their beans? -Ever see a Mexican do something right the first time? What do you call a Mexican baptism? -A bean dip

January 27th, 2016, 04:47 PM	#839
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Was round a Jewish friends (It could happen ) house today and noticed he had an old looking gold watch on his mantle piece. "It's an heirloom," he told me "Even survived the holocaust". "That's incredible" I said "How long has it been in the family ?". "Nearly a hundred years" My chum () responded. "On his deathbed my father, sold it to me, and previously his father sold it to him..." __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 27th, 2016, 06:27 PM	#840
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 814,017 Times in 60,881 Posts	At a meeting in a synagogue, Yossef asks the rabbi: "rabbi, why do people hate us so much?" The rabbi says "that's an interesting question. How about we all talk about it tomorrow over some vodka? Each one of you should bring a bottle so we can mix it in a big pot and drink, and discuss, and the answer will be clear." Yossef went home and thought to himself "if everyone else is going to bring a bottle of vodka, if i bring a bottle of water no one will notice the difference." and water was what he brought. the rabbi poured all the vodka together in one pot, and started mixing it. Yossef got anxious - "well, rabbi, what is the answer to my question? why do people hate us so much?" the rabbi filled a cup and said "drink this Yossef" yossef did and said "but this is water!" and the rabbi said "and this is why the people hate us"