Post your corny jokes - Page 1178

MaxJoker · November 16th, 2016, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

I've got a whole book of these somewhere...

Then dig it out You six foot nine (To say nothing of your height

) tease , dig it out

**trailmaster** · November 16th, 2016, 09:12 PM

A pun, a play of words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke. The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, to whom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do mathematicians scold their children?
"If I've told you n times, I've told you n +1 times."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mathematician wanders back home a 3 a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife. "You're late!" she yells. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!"
"Actually," the mathematician replies cooly, " I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

**Isegrim** · November 17th, 2016, 10:47 AM

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Let me out!
Let me out who?
Let me out of this damned coffin ...

**Isegrim** · November 17th, 2016, 11:42 AM

I think no one around has yet commented on the fact that Donald Trump when visiting Barack Obama in White House used his rear entrance ...

But strangely enough since his coming out he speaks as if Obama had paid a visit to him - finally he seems to get used to Obama care ... or was it by Obama care?

**trailmaster** · November 17th, 2016, 01:09 PM

Did you hear the one about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, "Bach,Bach,Bach."
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C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."
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A sign at a music shop: " Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet."
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What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Ba-Na-Na-Naaaaaa ( the opening strands of his ninth Symphony )

**SanteeFats** · November 17th, 2016, 01:55 PM

Paddy and Murphy are having a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

**PJayBr** · November 17th, 2016, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Ba-Na-Na-Naaaaaa ( the opening strands of his ninth Symphony )

Hate to be pedantic, but that his 5th Symphony. Great joke though!!!!

**Isegrim** · November 17th, 2016, 06:04 PM

And his favourite fruits were probably the cherries of his female piano students ...

**trailmaster** · November 17th, 2016, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJayBr

Hate to be pedantic, but that his 5th Symphony. Great joke though!!!!

I was typing from an internet joke site. Darn them!!

**bp666** · November 17th, 2016, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trailmaster

I was typing from an internet joke site. Darn them!!

What!!!!

Here I was thinking you were you were making all these jokes up yourself.

November 17th, 2016, 10:47 AM	#11773
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	The one and only really funny knock-knock joke I can think of ... Knock, knock. Who's there? Let me out! Let me out who? Let me out of this damned coffin ...

November 16th, 2016, 09:12 PM	#11772
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,329 Times in 60,079 Posts	A pun, a play of words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke. The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knock, knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, to whom. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do mathematicians scold their children? "If I've told you n times, I've told you n +1 times." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mathematician wanders back home a 3 a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife. "You're late!" she yells. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!" "Actually," the mathematician replies cooly, " I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

November 17th, 2016, 11:42 AM	#11774
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	I think no one around has yet commented on the fact that Donald Trump when visiting Barack Obama in White House used his rear entrance ... But strangely enough since his coming out he speaks as if Obama had paid a visit to him - finally he seems to get used to Obama care ... or was it by Obama care?

November 17th, 2016, 01:09 PM	#11775
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,329 Times in 60,079 Posts	Did you hear the one about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, "Bach,Bach,Bach." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A sign at a music shop: " Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-Na-Na-Naaaaaa ( the opening strands of his ninth Symphony )

November 17th, 2016, 01:55 PM	#11776
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,915 Thanked 814,267 Times in 60,901 Posts	Paddy and Murphy are having a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

November 17th, 2016, 06:04 PM	#11778
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	And his favourite fruits were probably the cherries of his female piano students ...