|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
March 12th, 2018, 11:39 PM | #13161 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: U.S. of A.
Posts: 206
Thanks: 6,639
Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts
|
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummi bear. |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Aaron For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 01:04 AM | #13162 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 683
Thanks: 11,930
Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts
|
Imaginary New Condom Brands:
Nike condoms - Just do it. Toyota condoms - Oh what a feeling. Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop. KFC condoms - Finger-lickin' good. J Ford condoms - The best never rest. Bounty condoms - The quicker picker-upper. Energizer condoms -It keeps going and going and going. M & M's condoms -It melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Star Trek condoms - To boldly go where no man has gone before. Why are condoms like cameras? - they both capture the moment.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to bfg9000 For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 01:33 AM | #13163 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 683
Thanks: 11,930
Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts
|
15 Female Thoughts:
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything. 2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color. 3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.. 4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls! 5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days). 6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it. 7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK.They know me here. 9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. 10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing and makes you walk funny. 11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. 12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit! 13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest. 14. If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble. 15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to bfg9000 For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 04:54 PM | #13164 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,867
Thanked 114,835 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
Attempted theft....
I've just pulled up in my driveway to see some thieving lowlife leg it and jump over my back fence. Think the piece of shit was after the Golf cart! My wife must have put up a good fight though because she's lost most of her clothes, is drenched in sweat and can hardly walk.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 07:08 PM | #13165 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,867
Thanked 114,835 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
Two drunks realize that they are sobering up and only have $1.25 between them. So, they buy a hot dog from a hot dog stand and go into the next bar.
They do shot after shot until the bartender demands that they pay up. The drunk with the hot dog opens his zipper and puts it through the opening. The other drunk gets down and starts sucking on it. The bartender throws them out. The drunks go to several bars with this routine until they are beyond drunk. “Man,” one of the drunks says, “that hot dog trick worked great.” “Actually,” the second drunk says, “I ate the hot dog at the second bar.”
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 10:07 PM | #13166 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,234
Thanks: 19,886
Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts
|
So I had sex with a pig, do I really need to boar you with the details?
|
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post: |
March 13th, 2018, 11:43 PM | #13167 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: U.S. of A.
Posts: 206
Thanks: 6,639
Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts
|
I got an ad in the mail for the DVD Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey.
DON'T BUY IT! She just travels around. |
March 14th, 2018, 09:36 AM | #13168 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,144
Thanks: 772,791
Thanked 855,872 Times in 57,575 Posts
|
Don't hog the limelight..Who squealed..
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mal Hombre For This Useful Post: |
March 14th, 2018, 09:47 AM | #13169 |
Vintage Idiot
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: History
Posts: 22,136
Thanks: 226,731
Thanked 356,785 Times in 21,631 Posts
|
|
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to effCup For This Useful Post: |
March 14th, 2018, 09:57 AM | #13170 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,256
Thanks: 79,772
Thanked 37,954 Times in 2,261 Posts
|
|
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to rosestone For This Useful Post: |
|
|