Irrational? Fear Of Rejection By Women

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Originally Posted by pnnbaa

Some very very important advice which nobody will follow, about rejection:

If you like a gal, and she doesn't like you, no amount of effort on your part is ever, ever going to make her like you in such a way where she is attracted to you or respects you. Move on. Right away. Don't insert yourself into her life under the pretense of wanting to be her friend. You may not even realize what you're doing, but no matter how much time and support you give her, how much of her life you help her with (help her move, give rides, etc), she will never, ever, ever want you in the way you want her to. In order to protect your ego you will then convince yourself that you're happy with the relationship as it is and what self-esteem and confidence you have will be destroyed, making it very very difficult to meet a gal to date.

And then there's the day she meets someone she's interested in and she's asking you for advice. Oh you'll want to die that day, and each day after, your life won't ever be the same. You will become a sniveling groveling child and you will seriously contemplate ending your life. You'll come to resent her you feeling that way even though it's not her fault. She'll get sick of you and withdraw and you'll get clingy and eventually you feel like you're a creep and she wants less and less to do with you and your devastation gets worse and worse.

Not that this has ever happened to me, of course! I've just seen others you know. Actually seriously I have seen other friends experience this, and it's a script, all steps are unavoidable.

Save yourself the heartache - no matter how much you like her, it's just tough luck, move on to a gal who likes you for you and enjoys being with you. And don't give up, there's plenty of awesome gals out there. Though maybe you don't want to tell her you hang out on sites such as this one :-) Be a gentleman, treat her nice, and if she doesn't respond to that then forget her and get a gal who does.

I agree with a lot of this (especially the first paragraph). However, I don't agree with the last sentence in bold. Being nice usually causes the gal not wanting to have anything to do with you.

[rewbear]

At the end of the day it's not so much a dating game as a mating game. The majority of women who are dating will be comparing, sub-consciously or not, suitors as potential fathers of their children.
Good looks, although the norms in this category would alter from country to country, are a sign of a healthy bloodline and do rate highly. As also does health and fitness as an indicator of virility and longevity. Earning potential and the ability to keep a good home and lifestyle are shown by higher than average intelligence, if not having a well-paid job and/or a good home already. Courtesy and consideration for others also will impress a woman who wants to be appreciated for who she is and a life partner and not just for what she can provide in the bedroom.
But, and getting back to the theme of this thread, each woman will have different ideals in all these categories and rejection shouldn't be taken as meaning that you, in yourself, are worthless, simply that you do not meet one or other of these criteria. If you are bedevilled by rejection, or worried about being rejected, take an entirely honest look at yourself and your circumstances and if you are happy with everything you find then you will eventually find a woman who is also similarly happy. This is the fun part of dating (hence 'game'). Trying the field, going for different types and looks in the women you date, until you find, by happy chance, the one woman you will spend the rest of your life with.