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Page 1199 of 2393

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February 4th, 2017, 02:36 PM	#11981
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,833 Thanks: 281,852 Thanked 813,938 Times in 60,879 Posts	Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."

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February 4th, 2017, 02:55 PM

#11982

gedly

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Quote:

Originally Posted by jafad

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Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night.
He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

I once went on a course on how to deal with negative emotions. I just had to leave. There was just so much bad feelings.

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February 5th, 2017, 06:13 AM

#11983

Aaron

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PJayBr

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Yesterday I saw a car with a boot sticker saying, "I'm a vet, so I can drive like an animal."

It was at that moment that I suddenly realised just how many gynaecologists there are on the roads.

Proctologists. In my area, it's proctologists.

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February 5th, 2017, 09:43 AM

#11984

effCup

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PJayBr

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"I'm a vet, so I can drive like an animal."

War can do that to many folks.

Funny, though, how they don't simply drive like a bullet-train driver?

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February 6th, 2017, 07:46 PM	#11985
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,311 Thanks: 41,720 Thanked 13,694 Times in 1,282 Posts	I asked my greengrocer why his lettuce stocks seemed so low, and said that three quarters of his icebergs were under the counter....

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February 7th, 2017, 02:50 AM	#11986
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	Did you hear about the new Fleetwood Mac cover band? Sweetwood Mac. Fronted by Stevia Nicks, of course... <running and dodging the tomatoes...>

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February 7th, 2017, 11:00 AM	#11987
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,311 Thanks: 41,720 Thanked 13,694 Times in 1,282 Posts	I've just got a dog that can do magic trickes. It's a Labracadabra!!!

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February 8th, 2017, 02:02 AM	#11988
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,827 Times in 9,416 Posts	Why did the anvil have to go to AA? because it was always getting hammered __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

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February 8th, 2017, 09:37 AM	#11989
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,269 Thanks: 34,179 Thanked 26,754 Times in 2,160 Posts	Overnight, there was a break in at the Cineworld at Hemel Hempstead. Police estimate that the thieves got away with some £1500 worth of goods: one large popcorn, two hot dogs and a medium diet Coke.

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February 8th, 2017, 09:46 AM	#11990
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,891 Times in 60,322 Posts	What do you call an unpredictable camera Loose Canon __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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