Why are you the way you are ?

[bubbs999]

Originally Posted by SpermShooter

.... In early 1997 I fell into a deep, suicidal depression ....

Depression is one of the most crippling, debilitating, frustrating illnesses that plagues human kind. It is a real sickness (although some people think a bath in Radox and some scented candles can cure it) responsible for multiple deaths worldwide and countless ruined lives.

Those that have experienced it will not know how 'you' feel, but will understand how it has affected them and their families and at least have empathy with you.

Those that have never experienced it, may feel empathy but cannot understand or appreciate how powerful it can be.

The only person I have found on the internet who seems to understand depression and knows what he is talking about ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBUcBfkVCo

It has helped me (not cured me !) - I hope it helps you or others.

Be at peace.

[Motorboater]

I'm just a product of all the mistakes I've made in the past

[Faceman675]

Originally Posted by Solid

Currently, I am what I am because I've recently been diagnosed with cancer, and it's changed me. All of a sudden I've become:

Positive, practical and pragmatic. Driven, decisive and deliberate. Loving, loved, appreciative and appreciated. Fun, reckless and just a little bit selfish.

Funny how life works, isn't it.

I don't know if you like country music, if you do I am sure you have heard this, if you don't check out this video by Tim McGraw:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9TShlMkQnc

Great song we could all learn from.

"Positive, practical and pragmatic. Driven, decisive and deliberate. Loving, loved, appreciative and appreciated. Fun, reckless and just a little bit selfish."

It is almost like you were paraphrasing the chorus to this song. I would advise you to follow the advice in the song but it sounds like you already are. You didn't say what the prognosis is, hope you beat it and if not live the hell out what life you have left!

PS I would feel really bad if you died riding a bull, unless thats something you have always wanted to do. BTW I have ridden a bull and next to losing my virginity riding that bull was the most exciting 1.5 seconds of my life

[Faceman675]

Originally Posted by electile disfunction

Out of curiousity, do you know how you are?

Is that a trick question,are you trying to confuse me?

Seriously I would like to apologize for my first post in this thread. I saw that MaxJoker had started this thread and my intent was to throw some irreverent humor back at Max. I made the post before I realized the serious cathartic direction the thread has taken. If you were offended by that post please accept my apology, thats not who I am.

[electile disfunction]

Originally Posted by Faceman675

Is that a trick question,are you trying to confuse me?

Seriously I would like to apologize for my first post in this thread. I saw that MaxJoker had started this thread and my intent was to throw some irreverent humor back at Max. I made the post before I realized the serious cathartic direction the thread has taken. If you were offended by that post please accept my apology, thats not who I am.

I am not offended at all. In fact I am not even concerned about your post. And I am willing to believe that Max does or does not know how you are (joking or not ).

That still doesn't mean you have any idea how you are and whether or not you are comfortable with or without that knowledge. With a potential hubub with Max approaching, I was just curious if you knew of yourself, so I asked. (You know ... info necessary for VEF pasttimes like making bets, stoking flames, or even helping each other when needed. )

e.d.

[cuzzyman927]

Originally Posted by Solid

Currently, I am what I am because I've recently been diagnosed with cancer, and it's changed me. All of a sudden I've become:

.

I hate that miserable "C" word! I would rather read a paragraph having 25 "F" words then even one sentence containing that "C" word!

The best of luck to you!

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by Solid

Currently, I am what I am because I've recently been diagnosed with cancer, and it's changed me. All of a sudden I've become:

Positive, practical and pragmatic. Driven, decisive and deliberate. Loving, loved, appreciative and appreciated. Fun, reckless and just a little bit selfish.

Funny how life works, isn't it.

Originally Posted by cuzzyman927

I hate that miserable "C" word!

The best of luck to you!

Same from me solid, turn that C into a V for Victory, with that attitude you're in the right frame of mind for that V

[PatentHappy]

I over explain. Annoys people, including me. Best guess on its causes:

1) I HATE getting misunderstood. Over explaining is my over compensation.

2) My dad was impressively articulate. Influenced by him despite getting to the point of not asking him questions to avoid the 20-minute answers (like my kids do to me now).

3) The REAL reason: Somewhere in elementary school the other guys got better informed regarding life and what was cool or not cool. Suddenly, when I'd insert a 'me, too', I'd get ridiculed as a copycat. Decided then and there that I would prioritize being original. I started (and still do) reject the first words that come to mind in order to find alternate words to describe an issue or event. In conversation, the need to pick my words carefully is frequently misconstrued for being pompous and pedantic.

I struggle to avoid both extremes, being boring or being offensive. On a first date with an old GF many years ago, I started obsessing over the need to not do anything offensive. So the pre-engineer inside me visualized a worst-case scenario. That would be me spitting on her. For the next 10 minutes of terror all I could do was hope that I didn't accidentally spit on her. (Just a glimpse into the logical extension of an irrational fear.) Luckily moved on to other, less dangerous thoughts and the night ended well.

More than I usually reveal..but less than the statute of limitations permits.

[MaxJoker]

Everybody else was doing it

Mind , I did grow up at Arkham

[MaxJoker]

Inbreeding , with myself