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December 25th, 2009, 09:29 AM | #1 |
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warning stupidity
This thread is about warnings that are sooo stupid you have to read them to belive them.
All the warnings here are very real. Feel free to add some when you find them to keep us all informed of the stupidity of some people.The scariest part of these warnings is that someone has to have done them atleast once to become a warning.All are welcome as long they are real. Acura TL warns that opening or closing the moonroof on someone's hands or fingers can cause serious injury. Volvo warns never drive with the airbags deployed.The fact that they hang out can impair steering of your vehicle.
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December 25th, 2009, 02:15 PM | #2 |
Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994
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striking....
Like some fireworks that should be lit by striking them like a match.
The manufacturer warns not to hold them while striking.. Well in that case i would like to know how they should be lit then.. .
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December 25th, 2009, 05:55 PM | #3 |
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More stupid warnings
Bag of airline peanuts: "Caution: May Contain Peanuts"
Package of batteries: "Batteries Not Included" Spear gun: "Do not point directly at face." Vacuum cleaner hose: "Keep Away From Penis" Box of animal crackers: "No animals were harmed during the manufacture of this product." Bag of potato chips: "Due to the law of averages, some unbroken chips may accidentally be included in this package." Restaurant bathroom: "Employees must wash hands before spitting in customers' food" Ashton Kutcher videos: "May cause nausea, headache or drowsiness." Box of Miracle-Gro plant food: "Not meant to be used on penis." Bottle of French dressing: «Apprenez svp à parler une langue étrangère, bâtards américains paresseux.» Cellular telephones: "Frequent use of this product while driving is encouraged by the American Organ Donor Consortium." Political campaign speeches: "Any claims or promises are meant as entertainment only and do not represent actual product performance." ATM machines: "Please Do Not Insert Penis" Florida voting ballots: "Not Legally Binding" The Bill of Rights: "May be modified, suspended or discontinued at any time without notice or liability." SUV gas caps: "A donation in your name has been forwarded to al-Q'aeda." ShredCo Industrial Penis Slicer: "Not Recommended for Use on Hot Dogs, Sausages or Cucumbers |
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December 25th, 2009, 06:03 PM | #4 |
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Product Warnings:
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December 27th, 2009, 08:46 AM | #5 |
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Thanks so much keep up the good work.Here's two more,
Toyota Venza warns do not leave children alone in the luggage compartment. Mini warns that if brake fluid level is low stop immediately.
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January 1st, 2010, 06:03 AM | #6 |
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Connair curling iron warning
Do not insert into any orifice doing so can cause serious injury.
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January 19th, 2010, 10:08 AM | #7 |
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Paintball gun
Fireing anything other than paintballs can cause serious injury. Do not insert anything in gunbarrel when fireing. Not to be used any other type of projectile or ammunition.
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January 20th, 2010, 09:25 PM | #8 |
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Few More Warnings
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Doritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children On a helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you On a Taiwanese shampoo: Use repeatedly for severe damage On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink: After opening, keep upright On a New Zealand insect spray: This product not tested on animals. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids: Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected portion Like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool for Approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet. On a blanket from taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place." On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening. On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed. On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation. On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97. On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene. On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms. On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied. On Odor Eaters: Do not eat. On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only. On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear. On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. On a wet suit: Capacity, 1. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles: Open Other End. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal? |
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February 9th, 2010, 09:34 AM | #9 |
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On a tube of hemorrhoid cream:Not to be used as a sexual lubricant
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February 9th, 2010, 11:28 PM | #10 |
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more warnings
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Sleeping Pills Warning: May cause Drowsiness Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. Komatsu Floodlight This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping. Wet-Nap Directions: Tear open packet and use. Stridex Foaming Face Wash May contain foam. Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire. Rain Gauge Suitable for outdoor use. RCA Television Remote Control Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume Children's Superman Costume Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Slush Puppy Cup This ice may be cold American Airlines Peanuts Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Nabisco Easy Cheese For best results, remove cap Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts |
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