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February 14th, 2017, 11:01 PM | #3341 |
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Wish granted, but the big-breasted women are all part of a tour group going to the isle of... Lesbos. You know what that means.
On the second day out they catch you ogling, and descend upon you en masse and chain you to a hot pipe in the engine room. This is only a preview of things to come, because when they get to Lesbos you are dragged to a sacred grove and burnt up as a man-sacrifice to the Goddess while the lesbians orgy in ecstasy around your pyre. Your last vision before your eyeballs melt is of a beautiful lesbian sucking on a gigantic gorgeous breast, that you will never, ever suckle upon. Since we're on a Wicker Man sort of trip, I wish to be able to seduce Leelee Sobieski as she was in her younger days, and enjoy staring into those wonderful eyes of hers, close up.
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February 15th, 2017, 01:23 AM | #3342 |
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btw did you see the hat in the tits ,its trailmaster being smoothered ...oh I GIVE UP
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February 15th, 2017, 06:33 AM | #3343 | |
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I wish to be stranded on an uncharted desert isle with sweet, innocent Maryann hanging out to have her cherry popped and a man-eating (sexually speaking) Ginger as they were in 1964. And with no other castaways, people getting washed up in the lagoon, visiting mad scientists, invading tribes from nearby islands, ferocious lions and tigers and bears or creepy crawlies. Last edited by Sir Honkers; February 15th, 2017 at 06:43 AM.. |
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February 15th, 2017, 08:11 AM | #3344 |
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Wish granted. As Maryann is slipping off her blouse, and Ginger is sashaying towards you naked, a coconut falls from a tree and strikes you on the head in just the right way to kill you instantly.
Since the skipper and Gilligan aren't around to catch fish and the like, the girls are on a decidedly low-protein diet. They make up for this by slicing away a few choice cuts of meat from your carcass and enjoy a nice loosegoose barbecue, with your fatal coconut as the dessert course. Afterwards, they make hot lesbian love, with loosegoose filets digesting happily away in their sexy flat bellies. Oh, well, at least you got inside them, if it wasn't quite what you'd hoped for. I wish to back in time and warn those idiots running the radar at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 that those are Jap planes that they are seeing, and have them take me seriously.
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February 15th, 2017, 10:03 PM | #3345 |
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Wish granted, however, you should know by now that when you go back in time that things never can be changed and worse things may happen. It is 6:00a.m. December 7th, a quiet Sunday morning in Hawaii. You are in the U.S. Navy and you made a desperate plea to your commanders months ago that the Japanese were going to attack Pearl Harbor and they took you seriously and removed all the ships from the harbor. The men stationed on a hill with a radar installation report seeing a huge wave of planes coming in, but many of the planes are bigger than what you originally remember from the history books. The planes coming in are not fighters, or small fighter/bombers or torpedo bombers. These are big 4 engine planes, with huge bomb bay doors. The planes come in. The Pearl Harbor defense system radios an alarm and many machine guns start firing, but they do no good, because these planes are carrying atom bombs which are dropped from a height of 20,000 feet and olbliterate Hawaii, and eventually the Japanese conquer America and the rest of the world including Germany and Russia. History was changed by your act and the Japanese discovered atomic power first.
I wish that I could just think of a great beer to drink and it would appear in my refrigerator nice and cold. |
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February 20th, 2017, 09:02 AM | #3346 |
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Deaf genie grants your wish of a great deer in the sink.
You wander naked into the kitchen after looking at naked women on the internet, looking for a beer, and there, standing in your sink, is a trophy sized elk. Not for long though, as its weight destroys your sink and the built in cupboards below it in about two seconds. And the elk is not pleased to be in your sink in any case. With a bellow it kicks free of the wreckage, charges you and knocks you into a bloody unconscious heap. It then proceeds to rampage through your house, pretty much destroying all of your furniture and the interior walls. Finally it manages to kick down the front door and escape. The neighbors hear the commotion and watching the giant elk bound off through the streets, call the police. The police, upon arriving at your house, notice your naked condition and the content on your computer screen and assume the worst. After being bandaged up at the hospital by some sniggering doctors, you are charged with attempted bestiality and locked in a cell with Ahmed, a Muslim pedophile who has been charged with flashing little girls. I wish for a big house with my own library in it, packed full of thousands of excellent books that are a pleasure to read.
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February 20th, 2017, 10:13 PM | #3347 |
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Wish granted, however, your great house with a big library full of these great books was poorly constructed and just a few days after you filled these big thick all wooden cabinets with all these books the floor started to buckle. Your big bedroom was under the library. You have just gone to bed and you hear this terrible noise. Cracking, tearing, and Baaaaaaaaaaaang the floor above you collapses right on top of you. The force is so great that your bedroom floor collapses and falls one level down into your living room. You though were crushed flat and now all your great books are awash in your blood, and brains.
I wish deaf genie would die and go to genie hell. |
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February 22nd, 2017, 09:16 PM | #3348 |
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Granted. Hard Of Hearing Genie grants his cousin the power to fly and go visit Tinkerbell.
I wish to be stranded on an uncharted desert isle with sweet, innocent Maryann hanging out to have her cherry popped and a man-eating (sexually speaking) Ginger as they were in 1964. And with no other castaways, people getting washed up in the lagoon, visiting mad scientists, invading tribes from nearby islands, ferocious lions and tigers and bears or creepy crawlies or get hit on the head by a falling coconut or in any other way meet an inconvenient demise or have something come along to ruin things. |
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February 22nd, 2017, 09:54 PM | #3349 |
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Wish granted - but you said an uncharted desert isle. You didn't say WHERE.
So welcome to a barren snowswept islet below 50 degrees latitude south, that makes the Kerguelen islands look like paradise in comparison. All thoughts of sex aside, you huddle shivering with Ginger and Maryann as the bitter cold chills you downwards to the inevitable. At least you get a cuddle before hypothermia and death sets in. I wish to see trailmaster playing Happy Gilmore for the PGA trophy.
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February 23rd, 2017, 09:41 AM | #3350 | |
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Freezing to death alongside some Grade A nookie is about as inconvenient a demise as you can have not to mention the nothing to come along and ruin it rider. Also note Cambridge English Dictionary definition:an island, especially in a warm region, where no people live. |
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