Post your corny jokes

[Almero]

My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex.
So I dumped her.

[seany65]

What was Sigmund Freud's favourite sport?







Psychling.

[trailmaster]

Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple. Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work. Nine nonths later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl. Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby. Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your dick at least a foot long?"
John had to admit it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?" Once more John replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light"

I must admit I don't understand the punchline!

[jafad]

An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery,
the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally,
the call went out around the world.Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing,the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later,the Arab had to undergo a corrective surgery procedure.
Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this time was more than happy
to donate his blood. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card
and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He then phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be more generous than that -
last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card
and a crappy box of chocolates ?"

To this the Arab replied: "
Aye laddie,
but I now have Scottish blood in me veins".

[trailmaster]

Teacher: Good morning class. I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round red and good to eat? Sarah: an apple? Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking.
Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat? Michael: A banana? Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking.
Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle. Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle. Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it? Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant.
Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.
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Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer. "I am!" Jesus shouted. "No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them. God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and checking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When eveything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank. The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed. Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."

[bp666]

[Almero]

Our greatest fear is dying alone.
Which is why I intend to take quite a few people with me.

[trailmaster]

Yo mamma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
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Yo mamma is so fat when she went on the weighing scale it said, "One at a time please."
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During a war the warrior shouted against 3 ladies.
Warrior: I am going to rape you all.
Younger lady: But please leave our grand mother.
Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.
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Men discovered colors and invented paint.
Women discoverd paint and invented makeup.

Men discoverd word and invented conversation
Women discovered conversation and invented gossip

Men discovered gambling and invented cards.
Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.

Men discovered trading and invented money.
Women discovered money and invented shopping.

There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women
STUCK TO SHOPPING.

[}[eywood]

That all works, but I doubt women invented makeup. Men figure that if we have to put up with all this crap from them they might as well be worth looking at while we do

[tygrkhat40]

Originally Posted by }[eywood

That all works, but I doubt women invented makeup. Men figure that if we have to put up with all this crap from them they might as well be worth looking at while we do

And there have been times in history where men wore makeup, and even more than women.