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October 28th, 2018, 09:22 PM | #13991 |
El Super Moderador
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I call Myself Matt Damon but it's not My born identity..
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October 28th, 2018, 09:57 PM | #13992 |
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After some reflection I've decided that that mirror making job is not for me.
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October 30th, 2018, 11:20 AM | #13993 |
Vintage Member
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This woman Petra seems to be very popular. I guess she´s got a lot of friends too.
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October 30th, 2018, 11:31 AM | #13994 |
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There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
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October 30th, 2018, 11:57 AM | #13995 |
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Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to sexually assault them.
Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!!!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say "You're next". They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals... Last edited by trailmaster; October 30th, 2018 at 05:52 PM.. |
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October 30th, 2018, 01:37 PM | #13996 |
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I was going to tell you a joke about a really long pencil but could not see the point.
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October 30th, 2018, 03:57 PM | #13997 |
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"In God We Trust"
USAtan Last edited by Silklover; November 2nd, 2018 at 12:57 PM.. |
October 31st, 2018, 12:20 PM | #13998 |
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A teacher in class notices a little puddle below Suzie's chair.
"Ah, Suzie, why didn't you put your hand up?" "I did, Miss, but it just ran through me fc..ing fingers." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A bloke is visiting his mother in a mental hospital when in the same room he comes across a guy moving his arms around and making beeping noises. "Excuse me", he asks him, "What on earth are you doing?" "I'm driving my car!, says the guy excitedly. "Beep beep!" "You fc...ing nutbar, you're not in a car, you're in a mental hospital!" A voice comes from the bed opposite. "Mate, shut the fc..k up will you, he's giving me twenty quid a day to wash the car." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did Jesus really die?? He went into Somalia saying I am the bread of life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman brings 8 year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctor and nurses with Mary, her 8 year old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fuc..ing appendix out!" |
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October 31st, 2018, 12:41 PM | #13999 |
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A policeman pulled me over last night while driving home from the pub and asked "Have you any idea why I`m following you" ,
"Because my tweets are funny ?" turned out to be the wrong answer.
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October 31st, 2018, 06:57 PM | #14000 |
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I'm not sure about my children's school. My daughter told me today that somebody else had been sent home for being high on drugs. That's the third teacher this week.
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