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September 1st, 2016, 02:10 PM | #1 |
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The Senior Citizens Thread
Given that you have to be of a certain age to enjoy VEF
Here goes the signs of ageing You know you're getting old when...... Your back goes out more than you do. You fancy the new Prime Minister (post Brexit vote) Your wardrobe is coming back into fashion. I'm sure you guys (and laydees) out there can think of more
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September 1st, 2016, 10:44 PM | #2 |
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You get a letter from Centrelink advising you that you are eligible to apply for the aged pension in another two months.
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September 2nd, 2016, 10:38 AM | #3 |
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You look forward to getting junk mail.....it's like someone cares.
You start to read stretch pants ads in the paper. You compete with your friends in swapping tales of ailments. You used to find the Simpsons Springfield Retirement Home gags funny.....now its just oh so true....."Thank you for not mentioning the world outside"
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September 12th, 2016, 01:00 PM | #4 |
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You really, really fancy your hot young co-worker. I mean blimey, she's only 52 and has a great arse. Practically illegal!
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September 12th, 2016, 02:29 PM | #5 |
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You go to bed 49 yrs old and, bodily, everything works okayish.........you wake up 50 and everything's broken.
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Lord, we might end up dead or worse, poor |
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September 12th, 2016, 02:52 PM | #6 |
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You used to brag about your bouts of intoxication, now you complain about your chronic meds.
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September 12th, 2016, 05:21 PM | #7 |
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When I go to gigs now. Instead of having a few 'herbal' cigarettes, I find that I have to pop a couple of Ibuprofen.
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September 12th, 2016, 09:04 PM | #8 | |
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Quote:
Two of those with my dodgy stomach and I'd be on the bog all night. Mind you, having said that, when I do go to a gig these days at least the band are my age or older. |
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September 12th, 2016, 10:22 PM | #9 |
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Still, at least at fifty, it can be repaired. At sixty, the doctor just shakes his head sadly and says, 'we have to expect these things as we get older.'
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September 12th, 2016, 11:30 PM | #10 |
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My mantra is "I hurt therefore I am."
Our aches and pains let us know we haven't died in our sleep. Other joys of the "Golden Years" (so called because of the stains on underwear from incontinence): Having a bowel movement is cause for celebration. When advised to be cautious about sexual activity, you wonder if that means the lies or the memories. You have more hair in your ears than on the top of your head. From my 91 year old father, "Some days I read the obituaries and everybody in there was younger than I am." |
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