The Most Unfunny Joke Ever...

**retro72** · June 25th, 2009, 01:37 AM

Or a place for all really poor quality humour in general:

Man: Doctor, both of my arms have fallen off!

Doctor: Hmmm, how do you feel?

Two buscuits are walking down the street. One says "Hey, can we just nip back to yours for a sec, I really need the loo."

"No chance" the second buscuit replies. "you might nick my laundry".

Estreeter · June 25th, 2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro72

Or a place for all really poor quality humour in general:
Man: Doctor, both of my arms have fallen off!
Doctor: Hmmm, how do you feel?

That's bad,

How about this
Q, What do you call a fly without wings?
A, A walk

**retro72** · June 25th, 2009, 03:15 PM

And mine was bad?! Ok it was...

A history professor recently gave up his vocation. Apparently he couldn't see any future in it...

Estreeter · June 25th, 2009, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro72

And mine was bad?! Ok it was...
.

Q What do you say when your dog runs away?
A Dog-gone!

Now that's really sad

**retro72** · June 25th, 2009, 04:10 PM

Oh wow that was awful

1st Crab: Can you lend me some money till tomorrow?
2nd Crab: No.
1st Crab: You shellfish git

June 25th, 2009, 06:16 PM

A man realizes he's shrinking and runs to his Doctor's office.

He exclaims "nurse I have to see the doctor right away! I'm shrinking by the hour and I can't wait"!

The nurse replies "the doctor is busy right now,set down and be a little patient"!

**retro72** · June 25th, 2009, 06:34 PM

I'm beginning to regret having started this thread....

In other news a scarecrow has just received an OBE, for being out standing in his field.

*tumbleweed* etc...

**slowdiver** · June 25th, 2009, 06:55 PM

A man goes to the doctor's and says "doc, whenever I poop it comes out like spaghetti"

The doc examines the man then goes and fetches a scalpel.

"Jesus," says the man "is it that bad that you need to perform surgery?"

"No," says the doctor, "I just need to trim a couple of inches off the bottom of your string vest."

**RyderKnightley** · June 25th, 2009, 06:59 PM

There is no set joke, but it is a framework and comedians try to be as outrageous as possible.
Basically, a man goes into an oldtime New York theatrical agent's office to get some work for his act. The agent asks the man to describe the act, so the man begins. "The act consists of myself, my wife and our son and daughter". From here on the comedian describes an act which gets more bizarre and outrageous as the act progresses. You can throw in anything you like here, incest, pissing and shiting and beyond. This has been known to go on for an hour or more. After the man has finished describing the act the agent asks him what he calls the act. To which the man relies, "The Aristocrats".
The joke here, for any readers whose first langauge is not English, is that the act name suggests something very upper class and stately, whereas the act is so debauched.
The reason why I never found the joke funny, I think, is because many of us Brits are used to hearing about the bizarre antics of our ruling classes so that nothing would surprise us.

**haymarket** · June 25th, 2009, 07:07 PM

Just got a taxi back from the ale house, the driver says to me - "i love my job, i'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do"
I said "Left here mate...."

June 25th, 2009, 01:37 AM	#1
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	The Most Unfunny Joke Ever... Or a place for all really poor quality humour in general: Man: Doctor, both of my arms have fallen off! Doctor: Hmmm, how do you feel? Two buscuits are walking down the street. One says "Hey, can we just nip back to yours for a sec, I really need the loo." "No chance" the second buscuit replies. "you might nick my laundry".

June 25th, 2009, 06:16 PM	#6
wrench24a Guest Posts: n/a	Shrinking Man A man realizes he's shrinking and runs to his Doctor's office. He exclaims "nurse I have to see the doctor right away! I'm shrinking by the hour and I can't wait"! The nurse replies "the doctor is busy right now,set down and be a little patient"!

June 25th, 2009, 06:55 PM	#8
slowdiver Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North West UK Posts: 582 Thanks: 788 Thanked 17,690 Times in 563 Posts	A man goes to the doctor's and says "doc, whenever I poop it comes out like spaghetti" The doc examines the man then goes and fetches a scalpel. "Jesus," says the man "is it that bad that you need to perform surgery?" "No," says the doctor, "I just need to trim a couple of inches off the bottom of your string vest." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 25th, 2009, 06:59 PM	#9
RyderKnightley Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,223 Thanks: 9,493 Thanked 19,340 Times in 1,145 Posts	The Aristocrats There is no set joke, but it is a framework and comedians try to be as outrageous as possible. Basically, a man goes into an oldtime New York theatrical agent's office to get some work for his act. The agent asks the man to describe the act, so the man begins. "The act consists of myself, my wife and our son and daughter". From here on the comedian describes an act which gets more bizarre and outrageous as the act progresses. You can throw in anything you like here, incest, pissing and shiting and beyond. This has been known to go on for an hour or more. After the man has finished describing the act the agent asks him what he calls the act. To which the man relies, "The Aristocrats". The joke here, for any readers whose first langauge is not English, is that the act name suggests something very upper class and stately, whereas the act is so debauched. The reason why I never found the joke funny, I think, is because many of us Brits are used to hearing about the bizarre antics of our ruling classes so that nothing would surprise us.

June 25th, 2009, 07:07 PM	#10
haymarket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Merseyside U.K Posts: 254 Thanks: 23,535 Thanked 4,549 Times in 253 Posts	Just got a taxi back from the ale house, the driver says to me - "i love my job, i'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do" I said "Left here mate...." __________________ "You ain't seen me, Right!"

June 25th, 2009, 03:15 PM	#3
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	And mine was bad?! Ok it was... A history professor recently gave up his vocation. Apparently he couldn't see any future in it...

June 25th, 2009, 04:10 PM	#5
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	Oh wow that was awful 1st Crab: Can you lend me some money till tomorrow? 2nd Crab: No. 1st Crab: You shellfish git

June 25th, 2009, 06:34 PM	#7
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	I'm beginning to regret having started this thread.... In other news a scarecrow has just received an OBE, for being out standing in his field. tumbleweed etc...