Did you ever go on nudie book hunts?

[kiwi]

God, this is sooooo embarrassing but True!

1st, I know there is a thread about when you saw your 1st porno mag but my question, while it might be re-lated, is something different.

When I was about 12 or 13, I found my first horde of discarded nudie books (as I called them then) - in the bushes near the path where I was walking. They where Brit HC - so like Whitehouse, Playbirds, Lovebirds etc.

I'd 'seen' porn mags b4 on the top shelf of a local newsagent but I had not, @ that point, seen inside!

Well, that incident started a (for was of a better word) craze. I would spend Saturday & Sunday afternoons looking for nudie mags that had been discarded. Good places to search where always empty waste-ground especially if people dumped rubbish there. Also good where building sites & for some strange reason, near canals.

I always took our dog with me for 2 reasons.

1. It looked less suspicious - even @ 13 I knew that wandering around aimlessly would arouse some nosy bastard's suspicion.

2. He (the dog) was good company & he couldn't tell anyone (except maybe other dogs, & I didn't give a flying f**k what they thought of me!),

R.I.P. Mancky - that was his name, btw.

strange, that, now I think about it...

So these walks with Mancky were a regular fixture for me between the ages of 13 and about 15 ... F**K! I must have walked miles!

But I found loads of good nudie mags!

And I nearly F**kin' drowned one day by the canal!

Some f**ker had put about 10 mags in a poly bag & dumped them in the reeds by the canal. (4 those of you familiar with Glasgow, it was up @ Firhill basin, near Partick Thistle's ground.) By then I was a very experienced 'Nudie Hunter' and as I was walking with Mancky, I spotted the corner of a Fiesta mag!

The bag was lying in amongst some reeds by the edge of the canal.

The stupid thing is, now that I think about, I remember thinking that it was probably a bit dangerous to try to get them ... but ... the F. addiction (to porno mags) was a lot stronger than the reasoning...

So I jumped down, leaving Mancky on the towpath. All fine, until I stretched out my left leg, I tried the 'ground' and it felt solid so I put my weight on it...

Vuroooooosh! My leg goes down all the way to my crotch, I try quickly to balance myself with my right leg - same again! I realise I am in serious danger of toppling forwards ... , I can swim well, but in my mind are all the F. horror stories I've heard from adults about kids drowning in canals full old, rusty bed frames & cars...

Somehow (I'm f**ked if I know how), I managed to turn around enough to grab the side of the bank & then haul myself out.

PHEW!!!

The dog is just sitting there looking @ me.

B@stard! - So much for movies like Lassie, Come Home where the bold poch saves the day...

Not this one

Actually, he did save the day. I was soaked up to the F. crotch of my jeans having taken the dog for a walk - explain that one to your mother?

Easy.

I threw Mancky in the canal. Then told my mother that he had jumped in after a duck, and I had to jump in and rescue him.



And 4 those of you wondering ...?

There were

4 Fiesta
2 Mayfair &
5 Men only



So my question ( @ long f. last said the reader(s) ) is

Did any of you lot go on 'nudie hunts'?

or Am I the only pervert around here?



Kiwi

[MaxJoker]

Never went on any actual nudie book hunts except if you count half inching them from various newsagents, as during a five year period i was the porn bandit of the south coast of england. Yes it's me , the weenie they couldn`t catch !. You probably even remember the reconstruction on crime watch , you know the one where the beguilingly attractive yet tall schoolboy enters a shop in a trench coat despite the fact it's the middle of July , then picks up a top shelf jolly , making it seem like he's holding only one copy when actually it's two ,and that`s pocketed quicker than the directer can say "Thief " .

I`m being totally serious here as well , may my pecker fall off if i write false .Anyway the reason for this usual ramble is that i didn`t just keep these mags to myself , no once i`d had enough use i would drop them off in places all round the City. Being perfectly serious here again , left quite a few leaning up against trees in three middle schools, some in launderettes , in department store changing rooms , on the toilets cisterns of many businesses , even wrapped one set in a bin bag and buried it in a sand bunker .

Just had a thought , maybe it was my compulsive generosity of spread legged images that helped erode the moral fortitude of the South of England, enabling the souls of todays politicians to decay so bringing about the unjust wars and this financial meltdown ?.

Whooops , sorry


Anyway moving on, i only stopped due to pure chance as on one of my typical adventures (In a newsagents i`d visited several times) i happened to overhear the elderly woman behind the counter whisper to the girl rearranging the smokes "That`s him there, he`s the one " . Now in a split second i knew what she meant and quit there and then, because i was being F**KING CRAZY . Looking back i have no idea why i nicked so many mags ?, or how i got away with it ?. Christ i stole so many that i`d end up having to pause near the end of each month and wait for new deliveries !.

Personally i blame a lack of parental supervision , a love of Robin Hood (But only in a manly way) ,plus the fact i was randy as a rabbit and enjoy taking pointless risks .

The slippery slope you ask ? , well it all began here

http://www.vintage-erotica-forum.com...ad.php?t=20946 #5

"Oh the humanity "

[kiwi]

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

I`m being totally serious here as well , may my pecker fall off if i write false .Anyway the reason for this usual ramble is that i didn`t just keep these mags to myself , no once i`d had enough use i would drop them off in places all round the City. Being perfectly serious here again , left quite a few leaning up against trees in three middle schools, some in launderettes , in department store changing rooms , on the toilets cisterns of many businesses , even wrapped one set in a bin bag and buried it in a sand bunker .

Well, Greenskull, @ least you had the decency not to leave any in the reeds near canals

And think of all the happiness you spread around - nuthing better than findinding a nudie book ... Well, maybe a wallet stuffed with 50s ... but that never happens

Kiwi

[billybunter]

Used to walk the long way home from school through a park. There was a spot near a river that every few weeks someone dumped their mags. (why people dump them I don't know) I picked up loads of men only/club/mayfair/whitehouse etc. Glory days!

[kiwi]

Originally Posted by shagger

yeah...I remember going on these too!

Yippee!

Originally Posted by billybunter

Used to walk the long way home from school through a park. There was a spot near a river that every few weeks someone dumped their mags. (why people dump them I don't know) I picked up loads of men only/club/mayfair/whitehouse etc. Glory days!

I'm not alone after all ...

Kiwi

P.s. many thanks, shagger & billybunter for sharing.

[licketysplit]

The route we were sent on cross-country running at school was a dodgy path by the side of the railway. That led to a wood. I hardly need to tell you that I used to look forward to the weekly trot and was usually last back... Nowhere to hide the stuff of course but I'd often polish my dome and shoot off over the brambles. I can hardly believe I was never caught. Somehow, those outdoor, illicit erections were harder than any I had indoors, even as an ever-horny teenager.

I rarely found full mags, however, just the odd page or two; at other times I would pick them up and take them home and built up a nice collection of fragments!

[picardclone]

Yep sounds familiar, used to go on mag searches myself. i used to walk for miles into the countryside and other areas somtimes for hours on end, used to find the latest in JCB's on construction sites or roads as they were being built. later on used to go to second hand book stall at a market they used to have boxes of the fuckin things dirt cheap, paradise it was, run by 2 littleold ladies I think 80% of their turnover was from those boxes.Closed down noe tho cos u canget all the content u want of the net.Does anyone still buy Mags from the shops?????. God Bless the internet searching now is less leg work lol

[licketysplit]

yeah, I still buy the odd one - I like to revisit the thrill of going into the shop, choosing a mag or two and taking it up to the counter. Haven't yet had the experience of a young female shop assistant offering to shut the store to put on a better show for me than anything in the mags (I wish...) but a few months ago I bought a copy of Escort and the guy behind the counter opened up the front cover, had a good look at the pink shot (particularly engorged clit!) and handed it back to me saying 'mmm, nice cunt!'

I like the smell of mags too (I used to wonder if there was some chemical in the paper that made them addictive!) and turning the pages in search of better and better pics is a different experience to trawling the porn sites.

[flypup]

Oddly, I used to go to an old Sporting Goods shop where you could buy, believe it or not, a new gun, fishing rod, and 70's and 80's H*stler and P*nthouse mags that the owner had stored gently in plastic sleeves. I was looking for fishing supplies one day and my eyes jumped out of my head when I saw his large collection, displayed right there on a rack next to the checkout. It was like I stepped back in time to 1975, because all he had there was vintage stuff, and this was only 5 or 6 years ago.

[avidfan]

Originally Posted by bellsmyre49

I wonder why the scud mags were dumped in such remote places. If you think about it, the disillusioned wankist who discarded them in the first place had to take a long walk to do so - you would think that by the time he'd ploughed through the woods and fields he'd have got over his self-abuse engendered guilt and disgust and that his onanistic tendencies would have re-asserted themselves.

The implication is that he took the jazz books into the woods [or fields] THEN had a wank and then, when he'd emptied his giblets, hurled the temporarily shame -inducing literature as far from him as a man can in the throes of post chug shame .

By the time he got back to civilization he was probably regretting it!

yeah but by the time he got back to civilisation he was probably too knackered to go back and get them-then along comes some teens...