Post your corny jokes - Page 1154

**SanteeFats** · September 16th, 2016, 01:43 PM

I've met boulders with more brains than you!!

**PJayBr** · September 16th, 2016, 05:32 PM

I love pretending to be a bomb disposal expert by stopping the microwave with 1 second to go.......

**gedly** · September 16th, 2016, 07:24 PM

Rhinoviruses? They get right up my nose.

Aaron · September 17th, 2016, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

I've met boulders with more brains than you!!

A friend of mine was a recruiter for the Navy. He called such candidates Rocks With Lips.

**SanteeFats** · September 18th, 2016, 07:16 PM

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

**gedly** · September 18th, 2016, 09:41 PM

My colleague at work told me today, "Saw this great pair of tits in the lift today". I reply, "Oh, are Phillips and Chambers from head office prowling round today".

**trailmaster** · September 19th, 2016, 11:57 AM

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,'he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh ny gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!. You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him.' What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmy replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

**rotobott** · September 19th, 2016, 12:38 PM

A journalist sees a dog mauling a boy, suddenly a man runs over and chokes the dog to death saving the child from a grisly death.

That was amazing says the journalist, I'll run a front page tomorrow, black man saves child from savage pit bull

Man says you can't do that I'm not black

What about Indian saves child?, asks the journalist

I'm not Indian says man, I am Pakistani.

Headline following morning?

P**I BASTARD SLAYS FAMILY PET

**SanteeFats** · September 19th, 2016, 02:57 PM

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

**mrfixit** · September 19th, 2016, 09:47 PM

September 19th, 2016, 09:47 PM	#11540
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,838 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

September 16th, 2016, 01:43 PM	#11531
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,910 Thanked 814,246 Times in 60,899 Posts	I've met boulders with more brains than you!!

September 16th, 2016, 05:32 PM	#11532
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,312 Thanks: 41,804 Thanked 13,700 Times in 1,283 Posts	I love pretending to be a bomb disposal expert by stopping the microwave with 1 second to go.......

September 16th, 2016, 07:24 PM	#11533
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	Rhinoviruses? They get right up my nose.

September 18th, 2016, 07:16 PM	#11535
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,910 Thanked 814,246 Times in 60,899 Posts	Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

September 18th, 2016, 09:41 PM	#11536
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,320 Times in 3,171 Posts	My colleague at work told me today, "Saw this great pair of tits in the lift today". I reply, "Oh, are Phillips and Chambers from head office prowling round today".

September 19th, 2016, 11:57 AM	#11537
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,905 Thanks: 1,329,115 Thanked 707,314 Times in 60,079 Posts	A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,'he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh ny gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!. You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him.' What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmy replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

September 19th, 2016, 12:38 PM	#11538
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,111 Thanks: 174,800 Thanked 634,718 Times in 31,432 Posts	A journalist sees a dog mauling a boy, suddenly a man runs over and chokes the dog to death saving the child from a grisly death. That was amazing says the journalist, I'll run a front page tomorrow, black man saves child from savage pit bull Man says you can't do that I'm not black What about Indian saves child?, asks the journalist I'm not Indian says man, I am Pakistani. Headline following morning? P**I BASTARD SLAYS FAMILY PET

September 19th, 2016, 02:57 PM	#11539
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,854 Thanks: 281,910 Thanked 814,246 Times in 60,899 Posts	Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"