Post your corny jokes - Page 1400

**Mal Hombre** · October 28th, 2018, 09:22 PM

I call Myself Matt Damon but it's not My born identity..

**gedly** · October 28th, 2018, 09:57 PM

After some reflection I've decided that that mirror making job is not for me.

**Silklover** · October 30th, 2018, 11:20 AM

This woman Petra seems to be very popular. I guess she´s got a lot of friends too.

**Silklover** · October 30th, 2018, 11:31 AM

There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.

**trailmaster** · October 30th, 2018, 11:57 AM

Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to sexually assault them.

Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!"

Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!!!"
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I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say "You're next".

They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals...

**Mister Fide** · October 30th, 2018, 01:37 PM

I was going to tell you a joke about a really long pencil but could not see the point.

**Silklover** · October 30th, 2018, 03:57 PM

"In God We Trust"

USAtan

**trailmaster** · October 31st, 2018, 12:20 PM

A teacher in class notices a little puddle below Suzie's chair.
"Ah, Suzie, why didn't you put your hand up?"
"I did, Miss, but it just ran through me fc..ing fingers."
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A bloke is visiting his mother in a mental hospital when in the same room he comes across a guy moving his arms around and making beeping noises.

"Excuse me", he asks him, "What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm driving my car!, says the guy excitedly. "Beep beep!"

"You fc...ing nutbar, you're not in a car, you're in a mental hospital!"

A voice comes from the bed opposite. "Mate, shut the fc..k up will you, he's giving me twenty quid a day to wash the car."
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How did Jesus really die??
He went into Somalia saying I am the bread of life.

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A woman brings 8 year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctor and nurses with Mary, her 8 year old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fuc..ing appendix out!"

MaxJoker · October 31st, 2018, 12:41 PM

A policeman pulled me over last night while driving home from the pub and asked "Have you any idea why I`m following you" ,

"Because my tweets are funny ?" turned out to be the wrong answer.

**gedly** · October 31st, 2018, 06:57 PM

I'm not sure about my children's school. My daughter told me today that somebody else had been sent home for being high on drugs. That's the third teacher this week.

October 28th, 2018, 09:22 PM	#13991
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,697 Times in 57,565 Posts	I call Myself Matt Damon but it's not My born identity.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 30th, 2018, 11:57 AM	#13995
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,186 Times in 60,069 Posts	Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to sexually assault them. Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!!!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say "You're next". They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals... Last edited by trailmaster; October 30th, 2018 at 05:52 PM..

October 30th, 2018, 03:57 PM	#13997
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,818 Times in 1,241 Posts	"In God We Trust" USAtan Last edited by Silklover; November 2nd, 2018 at 12:57 PM..

October 31st, 2018, 12:41 PM	#13999
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	A policeman pulled me over last night while driving home from the pub and asked "Have you any idea why I`m following you" , "Because my tweets are funny ?" turned out to be the wrong answer. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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October 28th, 2018, 09:57 PM	#13992
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,309 Times in 3,171 Posts	After some reflection I've decided that that mirror making job is not for me.

October 30th, 2018, 11:20 AM	#13993
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,818 Times in 1,241 Posts	This woman Petra seems to be very popular. I guess she´s got a lot of friends too.

October 30th, 2018, 11:31 AM	#13994
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,818 Times in 1,241 Posts	There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.

October 30th, 2018, 01:37 PM	#13996
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,986 Times in 890 Posts	I was going to tell you a joke about a really long pencil but could not see the point.

October 31st, 2018, 12:20 PM	#13998
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,186 Times in 60,069 Posts	A teacher in class notices a little puddle below Suzie's chair. "Ah, Suzie, why didn't you put your hand up?" "I did, Miss, but it just ran through me fc..ing fingers." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A bloke is visiting his mother in a mental hospital when in the same room he comes across a guy moving his arms around and making beeping noises. "Excuse me", he asks him, "What on earth are you doing?" "I'm driving my car!, says the guy excitedly. "Beep beep!" "You fc...ing nutbar, you're not in a car, you're in a mental hospital!" A voice comes from the bed opposite. "Mate, shut the fc..k up will you, he's giving me twenty quid a day to wash the car." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did Jesus really die?? He went into Somalia saying I am the bread of life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman brings 8 year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctor and nurses with Mary, her 8 year old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fuc..ing appendix out!"

October 31st, 2018, 06:57 PM	#14000
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,309 Times in 3,171 Posts	I'm not sure about my children's school. My daughter told me today that somebody else had been sent home for being high on drugs. That's the third teacher this week.