Cats are cool

[Futuro]

Here`s a weird one:

My cats HATE music and movies, too noisy. Every time they are in my livingroom sleeping or lounging and I even try to listen music, they start yawning and bigger one purrs so loud that it ruins my feeling to listen records. "Turn it off! You hve already listened that record few years ago!!!" They absolutely hate action movies, all gunfire and shouting makes them scrape their nails to my already-wrecked-by-cats-sofa! Maybe I someday upload mp3 to rapidshare so you realise how terribly loud and "fun" it could be when older one purrs a bit!

[MaxJoker]

I think the cruelest trick perpetrated on mankind (Not including nose hair) was the myth creation of a dog being our best friend, as all it and their unconditional devotion did was set us up for female relationship falls further down the line... That's why i feel giving a cat to a growing boy would be much more sensible , as like women cat's make you constantly work for their attention, plus sometimes claw your face off for no good reason...They also whine on and on if you fail to buy them new toys , and then when you do hardly ever play with them... They also eat grass to help with digestion and cough up fur , although maybe that's only the girl i`m seeing .



You can almost smell the affection





This probably sums up my girl , sorry i mean my cat and i`s relationship




Great role model





How wars start




Power crazed on cat nip





Birds discuss protesting against Krypton immigration




Fido wanna come out and slay ?




Don`t move mog i`ll just get a hefty club





God i don't know , you turn your back for five minutes





Cat and mouse





One toast too many





Delia smugs experimental Korean meals for one




Nuff said





Hey Mr you seen my cat ? , we`re late for a Vets appointment





The original Mexican stand off




Never wise to let it out i`ve learned




Don`t you hate it when they beat your score





"Ugh Tom how could you, i bought you a new scratch post and everythhhnn"



Blofeld changes breed of cat , Bond found dead next day with a ball of string shoved up his backside



Knowing me knowing you




Little did i realize he`d memorized all my pin numbers





Yeah yeah i do look cute , and you better sleep with your mouth closed tonight





Meowpheus , a character sorely missing from the Matrix sequels




" Fillet s s steak , mu mu must buy mo mo more fillet s s steak "







Most miserable cat in Norway reads my joke




Poland unveils latest hands free keyboard



"Oooooh 99 bottles of milk on the wall , 99 bottles of milk "





Hey it wasn`t that bad





Lara kept wanting me to see how wet it was , imagine my disappointment




"Take me to your leader , then a clean litter tray




Korea's take away franchise "Hopuchokusicfuks"


One paw swipe away from a hiding




Korean cats rebel and open their own takeaway "Yawtrnnowsknbags" Mmmm human smoothy anyone ?




It`s the real thing





Guess which kitten is mine , that`s right the suicidal one






I tried to explain the canary islands , but he didn`t believe me




Leader of the Spiders meets Cat triumvirate to discuss lasting peace , then a combined war on flies and mice









Sod the strategic moves "Fight fight fight "




I carefully opened the packet underwater while a brass band played "Pennsylvania Six-Five thousand" right beside me , but it was no use





Chewing conga







Barry sat down then sighed ,relaxed and let go , totally unaware the Smugly was doing the same





Cat rage




"Yeah yeah i know you can easily fit into them , stop mocking me ! "





I`d forgotten just when we started the contest , but the Christmas adverts in the paper were now out of date





"Hello , helloo , hellooo, helloooo, hellooooo"


(Hey i found that idea funny, ok)




Look there`s that giant paw print in the sky again , what ever can it mean ?




Pity you can`t hear the drum roll in the background





Kissing cousins , well it`s getting impossible to think up stuff ok




"Yeah baby , now the money shot "




Chair purrrrrson





Life`s tough alright




All i said was it had a squeak




Cute






Playing possom





A lesson learnt



If he was my cat i`d take him busking and retire a month later



Whiskers McGee , wanted for disturbing the peace , grievous bodily malting and toxic dumping



Uhhh no more ,my heads hot and there`s sweat running down my back



Drooler enjoyed the nap , but failed the exam




Davey slept so soundly anyone would think he knew i`d lost my right foot in a strange piano wire across the top of the stairs type accident that very morning




You two bastards are bloody lucky



Having trouble getting kittie to feed ? ,then why not try a spot of rum in the milk




Freddie tightened his paws over the muffled squeak , whistled the theme to Top Cat and hoped for the best




Cat abuse




Second hardest Cat in the country




Never use the V word




Yeah keep looking at how cute i am , while i kick your ass




"I`m innocent i tell yer , Tweetie was dead before i got there "




Hardest




"Who`s a lovely boy then "




One catnip too many




My monies on furball




"What`s that , big trouble you say ?, well just let me get a drink of water , have a nap and groom myself for two hours then i`ll be right with you "



Ok ok i`ll stop , but i`ve got a final request





Thanks , but i was going to say not in the face



"I regret nothing"

[jch48]

Not sure if these instructions have been provided,however here goes.

Pick up cat,and cradle as if holding a baby.Position forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks.As cat opens mouth,pop pill in.Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.Retrieve pill from floor,and cat from behind sofa.Repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom,throw soggy pill away,take new pill from foil wrap.Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.Hold mouth shut for a count to ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.Call spouse from garden.Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees,hold front and rear paws.Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail,get another pill from foil wrap.Make note to repair curtains.Sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth.Wrap cat in large towel with head just visible.Get spouse to hold cat and towel firmly under armpit.Put pill in end of drinking straw,force mouth open with pencil,and blow down drinking straw.
Check to make sure pill not harmful to humans,drink glass of water to take taste away.Apply bandage to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed.Get another pill.Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck with head showing.Force mouth open with dessert spoon.Flick pill down with elastic band.
Put door back on hinges.Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.Take last pill from foil wrap.Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.Find heavy duty pruning gloves in shed,force cat's mouth open with small spanner.Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak and half-pint of water.
Get spouse to drive you to Casualty.Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Go to vet,who puts cat on table.Cat lies there while vet pops open mouth and drops in pill.Cat swallows pill.Vet says"See how easy it is?"

[Leprechaun]

More from the two young pussies from post #56.

[donnalangtonukmode]

Cats can walk on water and even lazy around all day in it.



I through this one in just because it was funny...
and for all you dog lovers

[Mr.Bungle]

Hot chick with a nice pussy...

[Mr.Bungle]

Originally Posted by donnalangtonukmode

Great picture. Hope someone tried to get some dumbass slacker teen with his pants halfway down to his knees to try to jump that with his bike...

[rfinn50]

one down...8 to go



just ignore the man with the camera kids!

[The Little Bopper]

[The Little Bopper]