Women jokes - Page 9

MaxJoker · June 18th, 2011, 12:14 PM

Oh for a return to the good old days

When she always knew her place , and sweetly smiled no matter how smoke was blown in her face

**TCO95** · June 18th, 2011, 05:52 PM

http://img142.imagevenue.com/loc355/..._123_355lo.jpg

Back story :

1) Her parents are loaded (by which I mean her father has earned lots of $$$)
2) She's an only child (who would risk producing two of these beasts?)
3) She's insured for a bundle (worth more $$$ dead than alive

)
4) He's a crack shot (or a crack head. I mean come on, have a look guy!!!)

Check out Manny Fagnett's post in "Favorite Youtube vids"

http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...&postcount=415

Rudolph Hess seems to have changed his appearance a tad.

MaxJoker · December 14th, 2011, 07:39 AM

Of course it only becomes a proper gift once she has used it

Knetic · December 20th, 2011, 08:05 AM

The "rules" according to men

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, porn, or well... porn.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

MaxJoker · December 21st, 2011, 03:59 AM

Knetic · December 21st, 2011, 09:15 AM

**mellowyellow** · December 21st, 2011, 07:04 PM

From the0ni0n

MaxJoker · December 23rd, 2011, 01:11 PM

MaxJoker · December 25th, 2011, 05:27 AM

The truth has never been so succinctly summed up before

MaxJoker · January 18th, 2012, 02:11 AM

June 18th, 2011, 12:14 PM	#81
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Oh for a return to the good old days When she always knew her place , and sweetly smiled no matter how smoke was blown in her face __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 18th, 2011, 05:52 PM	#82
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,803 Times in 5,130 Posts	http://img142.imagevenue.com/loc355/..._123_355lo.jpg Back story : 1) Her parents are loaded (by which I mean her father has earned lots of $$$) 2) She's an only child (who would risk producing two of these beasts?) 3) She's insured for a bundle (worth more $$$ dead than alive ) 4) He's a crack shot (or a crack head. I mean come on, have a look guy!!!) Check out Manny Fagnett's post in "Favorite Youtube vids" http://vintage-erotica-forum.com/sho...&postcount=415 Rudolph Hess seems to have changed his appearance a tad. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 14th, 2011, 07:39 AM	#83
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Of course it only becomes a proper gift once she has used it __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 20th, 2011, 08:05 AM	#84
Knetic Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: This little country of many Posts: 112 Thanks: 1,695 Thanked 1,431 Times in 103 Posts	Rules The "rules" according to men We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, porn, or well... porn. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Last edited by Knetic; December 20th, 2011 at 10:17 AM..

December 21st, 2011, 07:04 PM	#87
mellowyellow Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,469 Thanks: 16,574 Thanked 37,577 Times in 1,885 Posts	From the0ni0n __________________

December 21st, 2011, 03:59 AM	#85
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts

December 21st, 2011, 09:15 AM	#86
Knetic Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: This little country of many Posts: 112 Thanks: 1,695 Thanked 1,431 Times in 103 Posts

December 23rd, 2011, 01:11 PM	#88
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts

December 25th, 2011, 05:27 AM	#89
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	The truth has never been so succinctly summed up before

January 18th, 2012, 02:11 AM	#90
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	__________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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