Post your corny jokes - Page 1389

MaxJoker · September 28th, 2018, 01:09 PM

Saw a sign earlier that made me piss myself ,

"Toilets Closed".

MaxJoker · September 29th, 2018, 12:32 PM

Spent ages last night trying to make a belt out of fresh herbs ,

What a waste of thyme that turned out to be.

**gedly** · September 29th, 2018, 03:18 PM

What to know the results of my DNA test?
Hold on, I'll just go thru my jeans.

MaxJoker · September 29th, 2018, 03:33 PM

The noisy neighbour has had twenty eight concussions this year so far ,

Lives just a stones throw away.

**Mister Fide** · September 29th, 2018, 08:52 PM

Question: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: a fish

**photoflex** · September 29th, 2018, 08:54 PM

Crazy that in 2018 auto-flush toilets still can't distinguish between someone who's peeing and someone crouching down to get a sip of water.

**machman** · September 30th, 2018, 05:18 AM

A protest at a quantum physics University:-

Protest leader : “What do we want?”
Professors : “More funding”
Protest leader: “When do we want it?”
Professors : “Now!”
“What do we want”
“A particle accelerator”
“When do we want it?”
“Now!”
“What do we want?”
“A time machine”
“When do we want it?”
“Well that wouldn’t really matter would it”

Aaron · September 30th, 2018, 12:11 PM

The hard economic times have hit everywhere. Everywhere. Cerberus has been let go from his job guarding the gates of Hades, replaced by a sign that reads: Do Not Reverse. Severe Tire Damage.

MaxJoker · September 30th, 2018, 02:13 PM

My brother is the classic example of what can happen to those who get involved in drugs ,

As bought his own house for cash before age of twenty and drives a Ferrari.

**gedly** · September 30th, 2018, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

My brother is the classic example of what can happen to those who get involved in drugs ,

As bought his own house for cash before age of twenty and drives a Ferrari.

I'm sure you mentioned him before. Wasn't his Ferrari found at the bottom of a lake with him in the boot?

September 28th, 2018, 01:09 PM	#13881
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	Saw a sign earlier that made me piss myself , "Toilets Closed". __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 29th, 2018, 12:32 PM	#13882
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	Spent ages last night trying to make a belt out of fresh herbs , What a waste of thyme that turned out to be. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 29th, 2018, 03:33 PM	#13884
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	The noisy neighbour has had twenty eight concussions this year so far , Lives just a stones throw away. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 30th, 2018, 02:13 PM	#13889
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	My brother is the classic example of what can happen to those who get involved in drugs , As bought his own house for cash before age of twenty and drives a Ferrari. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 29th, 2018, 03:18 PM	#13883
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	What to know the results of my DNA test? Hold on, I'll just go thru my jeans.

September 29th, 2018, 08:52 PM	#13885
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,987 Times in 890 Posts	Question: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: a fish

September 29th, 2018, 08:54 PM	#13886
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,923 Thanked 127,779 Times in 3,570 Posts	Crazy that in 2018 auto-flush toilets still can't distinguish between someone who's peeing and someone crouching down to get a sip of water.

September 30th, 2018, 05:18 AM	#13887
machman Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 508 Thanks: 5,185 Thanked 15,484 Times in 494 Posts	A protest at a quantum physics University:- Protest leader : “What do we want?” Professors : “More funding” Protest leader: “When do we want it?” Professors : “Now!” “What do we want” “A particle accelerator” “When do we want it?” “Now!” “What do we want?” “A time machine” “When do we want it?” “Well that wouldn’t really matter would it”

September 30th, 2018, 12:11 PM	#13888
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	The hard economic times have hit everywhere. Everywhere. Cerberus has been let go from his job guarding the gates of Hades, replaced by a sign that reads: Do Not Reverse. Severe Tire Damage.