"FOOT HEADS ARMS BODY" - Memorable Headlines. - Page 2

rc_riddle · December 19th, 2010, 06:36 AM

The Sun ran the line - You can't quit quicker than a Bob Quick quitter - when the hapless cop resigned after inadvertently showing the worlds press a terrorist dossier.

Foxbark · December 19th, 2010, 02:11 PM

Years ago the Sunday Sport had a story on the notorious 'blue comic' Ned Kelly.
You might have heard of Ned Kelly - he produced a video entitled 'Red, Raw and Blue', anyhow Kelly was (or is) a middle aged, bearded Glaswegian Irishman comedian typically displaying the hard living, hard drinking predilictions of that community.But ony Ned Kelly's particular USP was to appear on stage stark naked (for some reason), with a Wellington boot tied to his penis.Apparently Ned Kelly was booked by a north of England comedy club to do his spiel only to be frog-marched off stage by an 'outraged' management seconds later who were apparently unaware of the ritual nudity.
The story prompted the absolute classic Sunday Sport headline:

"NUDE COMIC KICKED OOT FOR F* CKING A'BOOT".

**IngramJohn** · December 19th, 2010, 02:41 PM

From: The Sun (but not really!) ...

A man escaped from our local mental hospital ... they tried to catch him, but he ran into a Washateria. Whilst he was in there he raped two women and ran off as quick as he could.

The headline was ...

NUT SCREWS WASHERS and BOLTS!!!

Foxbark · December 19th, 2010, 03:53 PM

I seem to remember in the mid 80s the 'Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh' cult was at its peak, and this coinincide witha general HIV panic.
Anyhow, Rajneesh (and his dinstinctive orange-cald devotees) dwelled in 'ashrams' in India, which were genaerally given over to a 'free-love' ethos (ie 'ritual' sex was practised all of the time by everyone).
Bhagwan was rather concerned about the general AIDS panic, and this prompted him to issue a missive that all 'ritual' sex must in future be 'rubber insulated', not only condoms were mandatory, but latex gloves were to be worn during perfunctory intercourse.
This prompted the classic and typically hateful Sun headline,

"MAKE LOVE IN YOUR GLOVES TO BEAT AIDS - SEX-SECT SCARE."

A headline that's haunted my subconscious these past 27 years

**squigg58** · December 19th, 2010, 06:24 PM

These were doing the rounds at work a while ago ...

**Maglover** · February 7th, 2021, 12:44 PM

Gotcha

**seany65** · February 7th, 2021, 10:30 PM

"World war two bomber found on Moon"

Sunday sport headline, some years ago.

**Maglover** · February 9th, 2021, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seany65

"World war two bomber found on Moon"

Sunday sport headline, some years ago.

Well, there's a photo there, what more proof do you need?

**hoss** · February 12th, 2021, 10:42 PM

Once when Boris Becker suffered an early defeat in the Australian Open, succumbing to the searing heat, a German newspaper headlined "Becker schwitzt und scheidet aus", which could be read as "Becker sweats and is eliminated" or as "Becker sweats and excretes".

December 19th, 2010, 02:41 PM	#13
IngramJohn Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hiding behind a Tree in Robin Hood Country. Posts: 890 Thanks: 16,450 Thanked 7,880 Times in 886 Posts	From: The Sun (but not really!) ... A man escaped from our local mental hospital ... they tried to catch him, but he ran into a Washateria. Whilst he was in there he raped two women and ran off as quick as he could. The headline was ... NUT SCREWS WASHERS and BOLTS!!! __________________ Welcome; Bienvenido; Velkommen; Welkom; Bienvenue; Willkommen; Benvenuti; Welcome ... to the "FOOTBALL" (Soccer) Thread To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. *<<<< Please click!* To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 19th, 2010, 03:53 PM	#14
Foxbark Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 275 Thanks: 372 Thanked 2,021 Times in 259 Posts	I seem to remember in the mid 80s the 'Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh' cult was at its peak, and this coinincide witha general HIV panic. Anyhow, Rajneesh (and his dinstinctive orange-cald devotees) dwelled in 'ashrams' in India, which were genaerally given over to a 'free-love' ethos (ie 'ritual' sex was practised all of the time by everyone). Bhagwan was rather concerned about the general AIDS panic, and this prompted him to issue a missive that all 'ritual' sex must in future be 'rubber insulated', not only condoms were mandatory, but latex gloves were to be worn during perfunctory intercourse. This prompted the classic and typically hateful Sun headline, "MAKE LOVE IN YOUR GLOVES TO BEAT AIDS - SEX-SECT SCARE." A headline that's haunted my subconscious these past 27 years Last edited by Foxbark; December 19th, 2010 at 03:56 PM.. Reason: error

February 7th, 2021, 10:30 PM	#17
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,651 Thanks: 80,415 Thanked 32,730 Times in 3,527 Posts	"World war two bomber found on Moon" Sunday sport headline, some years ago. __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

December 19th, 2010, 06:36 AM	#11
rc_riddle Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 235 Thanks: 1,052 Thanked 1,462 Times in 217 Posts	The Sun ran the line - You can't quit quicker than a Bob Quick quitter - when the hapless cop resigned after inadvertently showing the worlds press a terrorist dossier.

December 19th, 2010, 02:11 PM	#12
Foxbark Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 275 Thanks: 372 Thanked 2,021 Times in 259 Posts	Years ago the Sunday Sport had a story on the notorious 'blue comic' Ned Kelly. You might have heard of Ned Kelly - he produced a video entitled 'Red, Raw and Blue', anyhow Kelly was (or is) a middle aged, bearded Glaswegian Irishman comedian typically displaying the hard living, hard drinking predilictions of that community.But ony Ned Kelly's particular USP was to appear on stage stark naked (for some reason), with a Wellington boot tied to his penis.Apparently Ned Kelly was booked by a north of England comedy club to do his spiel only to be frog-marched off stage by an 'outraged' management seconds later who were apparently unaware of the ritual nudity. The story prompted the absolute classic Sunday Sport headline: "NUDE COMIC KICKED OOT FOR F* CKING A'BOOT".

December 19th, 2010, 06:24 PM	#15
squigg58 Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: My own little world Posts: 2,476 Thanks: 14,113 Thanked 25,970 Times in 2,473 Posts	These were doing the rounds at work a while ago ...

February 7th, 2021, 12:44 PM	#16
Maglover Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 750 Thanks: 11,511 Thanked 6,245 Times in 747 Posts	Gotcha

February 12th, 2021, 10:42 PM	#19
hoss Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: I have a farm in cloud cuckoo land Posts: 3,468 Thanks: 19,922 Thanked 26,479 Times in 3,456 Posts	Once when Boris Becker suffered an early defeat in the Australian Open, succumbing to the searing heat, a German newspaper headlined "Becker schwitzt und scheidet aus", which could be read as "Becker sweats and is eliminated" or as "Becker sweats and excretes".