Heaven Or Hell ?

[MaxJoker]

Heaven


Watching Kari Wuhrer walking



Hell

Having to listen to Lindsay Lohan talking

[howerd]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Which place do you think you`ll end up .

Above or below

Also what would your idea of Heaven be

Along with your idea of true Hell

Well I'm an atheist - I can't help it, it's just the way God made me for some reason (Can you genuinely believe what you find believable? No).

I think I'll probably end up in hell but if there really is one god most people, purely on the principle of probability, will too for choosing to worship the wrong one. After all there are an awful lot of gods available to worship & they can't all be true (mind you, they can all be false).

On that basis (& still sticking to your stipulation of assuming some heaven & hell exist) we're nearly all in big trouble - I know I am because if I get to stand before The Creator of the universe & I'm asked 'Why didn't you believe in me?' I'll have to be honest & reply 'I'm ever so sorry but errr... to which god am I addressing now? - Your universe offered a lot to choose from & there wasn't a shred of verifiable evidence for any one of them & I'd like to address you by the correct title sir / madam' - Maybe she's the Egyptian goddess Issis who : was worshiped far longer than Christ has been regarded to be the embodiment of the creator of the universe. Or maybe it isn't Issis but the god of ISIS: Islamic State, & we're all supposed to be flying planes into tall buildings in Hid name? Who can say?

Whoever the real deal turns out to be I certainly hope the one true God doesn't turn out to be the one we see described in the Buy Bull is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.

As regards heaven, my mother brought me up to believe in the God of the buy bull & if she was right to do so she's now up in heaven looking down on me destined for hell which I'll undoubtedly go to if she's picked the right god to believe in & I haven't. - But how can she ever be at all happy in heaven knowing that her beloved son will be burning in eternal agony down in hell?

I choose to go to hell because, as Neitchze rightly said, that's where all the interesting people end up & that's my idea of heaven. But why would I want to spend all eternity with the ultimate mafia boss like the one described in the Buy Bull as the following video very succinctly explains:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPD1YGghtDk

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by howerd

Well I'm an atheist - I can't help it, it's just the way God made me for some reason (Can you genuinely believe what you find believable? No).

... Ahem ... You did realise this thread as with the majority of my threads here (I said here) in the section. Is originated with a meaty tongue planted firmly in cheek , right
Oh.
Then my condolences for your tragic lack of a sense of humour

Annnnnnyway

Heaven = The perfect pizza dished out three times a day



Hell = Worse than torture

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Hell = Worse than torture

No comment

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

You'd think...or at least hope, Quality Control would've picked up on that one.

[Arturo2nd]

I believe in reincarnation, but think we eventually go to heaven or achieve nirvana. I think I lived in hell for a few years and don't recommend it. The concept of a just and loving God placing any of his children in eternal torture is illogical. Hitler and Stalin, however, probably have several million years of payback coming.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

You'd think...or at least hope, Quality Control would've picked up on that one.

If you stand back from your screen about 4 feet, squint both eyes, it looks a bit like a fried egg but it ain't I still have no comment on Max's most disgusting picture ever posted

[Butterboy]

I'm not a bad guy, never deliberately hurt anyone except a few feelings here and there so I certainly don't think I deserve to go to hell and would argue that case at the Pearly Gates. However according to The Bible, denying the existence of God is all it takes to go to hell for eternity and I've definitely done that. I also don't worship any god or gods and I masturbate, so probably Hell for me.

If I do get into heaven, first of all I'd get my foreskin back, then obviously lots of sex with lots of beautiful women. Lots of brilliant films and TV shows to watch and being able to travel the world. Pretty much how very rich men live on earth at the mo, except the foreskin bit. One thing I would definitely want is never having to take a shit ever again, nobody would. There'd be no such thing as shit. Or at the very least when you did take a shit it would be very innocuous, like ping pong balls or something. Like you could literally crap your pants and it wouldn't matter. Just shake them out of your trouser leg.

As for Hell, I think the Christians have more or less got this one down - being completely on fire forever. Like if I slightly burn the tip of my finger on the oven while retrieving a pizza, that really hurts. So having all of my skin completely on fire for eternity, and presumably when I breathed in, I would be breathing flames and smoke would be horrendous. I guess if I was also being skewered on huge knives up the arse and having all my bones simultaneously broken and my joints ripped apart to boot that would make it worse.

[Arturo2nd]

Originally Posted by Butterboy

I'm not a bad guy, never deliberately hurt anyone except a few feelings here and there so I certainly don't think I deserve to go to hell and would argue that case at the Pearly Gates. However according to The Bible, denying the existence of God is all it takes to go to hell for eternity and I've definitely done that. I also don't worship any god or gods and I masturbate, so probably Hell for me.

If I do get into heaven, first of all I'd get my foreskin back, then obviously lots of sex with lots of beautiful women. Lots of brilliant films and TV shows to watch and being able to travel the world. Pretty much how very rich men live on earth at the mo, except the foreskin bit. One thing I would definitely want is never having to take a shit ever again, nobody would. There'd be no such thing as shit. Or at the very least when you did take a shit it would be very innocuous, like ping pong balls or something. Like you could literally crap your pants and it wouldn't matter. Just shake them out of your trouser leg.

As for Hell, I think the Christians have more or less got this one down - being completely on fire forever. Like if I slightly burn the tip of my finger on the oven while retrieving a pizza, that really hurts. So having all of my skin completely on fire for eternity, and presumably when I breathed in, I would be breathing flames and smoke would be horrendous. I guess if I was also being skewered on huge knives up the arse and having all my bones simultaneously broken and my joints ripped apart to boot that would make it worse.

Haven't you ever had the experience where taking a really good shit was almost orgasmic? Frankly, I would much rather take a shit than listen to a woman rattle on about her relationship with her mother. Are all the women in heaven beautiful? Are they all mute? What if they prefer vibrators? Will we be able to shoot our loads when we masturbate like we could at age 16 or 17?

I must have Norse ancestry. I hate being cold and stay far away from snow. In Norse mythology those who go to hell are frozen, but do not die forever.

[Butterboy]

Originally Posted by Brian249x

Haven't you ever had the experience where taking a really good shit was almost orgasmic? ...
I must have Norse ancestry. I hate being cold and stay far away from snow. In Norse mythology those who go to hell are frozen, but do not die forever.

Well what I hate is shit itself. I've never had an orgasmic dump but I know of medical cases where it causes ejaculation. I've recently discovered that sitting on a toilet to take a shit is the worst possible position and that the French (also Japanese, Afghanis, everyone but the British) had it right all along. A full squatting position doesn't necessarily feel great at the time but it opens up the hips so you can completely empty your bowels in one fell swoop. For at least an hour afterwards you feel like you've just cum.

This is also why I'm utterly convinced that all women secretly love anal. Except for the ones that explicitly love anal.