Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 13

MaxJoker · November 8th, 2013, 03:22 PM

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party.

The musical chairs were a bit slow, but fcuking hell that pass the parcel was bloody quick !

British weather ,it's just like a Muslim.

Either Sunni or Shi'ite.

There's an old saying,

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away".

Only as nowadays most doctors seem to be Muslim i find grilled bacon far more effective.

**rustler** · November 8th, 2013, 07:00 PM

I showed my Ethiopian friend at work the YouTube video of the girl eating her used Tampon.
"Bloody hell", he said, "thats enough to feed four!"

By the way, on the subject of Tampons.....

Q. Why do Tampons have strings attached?

A. So you can floss after you've eaten!

Estreeter · November 9th, 2013, 12:18 PM

Two homeless blokes were talking about their day. The first one says "I found $20, bought a nice hot triple cheese and salami pizza. It was my luckiest day all year".

The second bloke replied "That's cool, my day was even better, I was at the train yard, and found a lady tied to the train tracks. I untied her and we fucked all day"

"Did you get a blow job?" asked the first bloke

"Nope, I couldn't find her head"

**rustler** · November 9th, 2013, 02:03 PM

A divorced cannibal and his son are walking together.

The boy says, "I wish that mum was here." ... then he vomits.
.
The father says, "Thought I have told you not to bring your mother up."

MaxJoker · November 9th, 2013, 02:27 PM

My favourite game is Grand Theft Auto, you can do virtually anything.

Today i ran over a child, robbed a granny at a cash machine and beat a whore to death with my steel crowbar.

Then i came home and played Grand Theft Auto.

So Marvel comics have introduced a female Muslim superhero..

Her Kryptonite is soap.

What's a Jew's ultimate dilemma ?.

Free pork chops.

**rustler** · November 10th, 2013, 05:59 AM

I think I may have upset my new flat mate today, when I mentioned the stupid beard and handlebar moustache.

Apparently I'm not supposed to see her without her burka on.

**rustler** · November 10th, 2013, 03:58 PM

Q. What's the difference between a condom and a coffin.........??

A. You cum in one and go in the other!

Q. What's the difference between a coffin and a condom....??

Q. Nothing, they both hold stiffs!

**rustler** · November 12th, 2013, 08:27 AM

How do you circumcise a Catholic priest?

Kick a choir boy in the chin.

MaxJoker · November 12th, 2013, 02:31 PM

How do you know the times long overdue to take your washing to the launderette ?.

When you find yourself having to wear your wank sock to work.

What does a Catholic shout out during sex ?

Get off me, Father.

Jenna Jameson is returning to porn, saying that she's doing it for her children.

Lucky bastards.

My mum won't even get undressed in front of me.

**rustler** · November 12th, 2013, 03:35 PM

A Catholic priest whose hobby is keeping chickens has lost his prize rooster, so he decides to ask the congregation on Sunday if they know of its whereabouts............

"Tell me", he says, "has anybody here seen a cock?"

Threequarters of the female congregation stand up.

"No, no, I mean has anybody here seen a cock that isn't theirs?"

Half the female congregation stand up sheepishly.

"No, no, I mean has anybody here seen my cock?"

All the choirboys stand up!

November 8th, 2013, 03:22 PM	#121
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs were a bit slow, but fcuking hell that pass the parcel was bloody quick ! British weather ,it's just like a Muslim. Either Sunni or Shi'ite. There's an old saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". Only as nowadays most doctors seem to be Muslim i find grilled bacon far more effective. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 8th, 2013, 07:00 PM	#122
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I showed my Ethiopian friend at work the YouTube video of the girl eating her used Tampon. "Bloody hell", he said, "thats enough to feed four!" By the way, on the subject of Tampons..... Q. Why do Tampons have strings attached? A. So you can floss after you've eaten! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 9th, 2013, 12:18 PM	#123
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,111 Thanks: 449,673 Thanked 896,750 Times in 60,308 Posts	Two homeless blokes were talking about their day. The first one says "I found $20, bought a nice hot triple cheese and salami pizza. It was my luckiest day all year". The second bloke replied "That's cool, my day was even better, I was at the train yard, and found a lady tied to the train tracks. I untied her and we fucked all day" "Did you get a blow job?" asked the first bloke "Nope, I couldn't find her head" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 9th, 2013, 02:03 PM	#124
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	A divorced cannibal and his son are walking together. The boy says, "I wish that mum was here." ... then he vomits. . The father says, "Thought I have told you not to bring your mother up." __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 9th, 2013, 02:27 PM	#125
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	My favourite game is Grand Theft Auto, you can do virtually anything. Today i ran over a child, robbed a granny at a cash machine and beat a whore to death with my steel crowbar. Then i came home and played Grand Theft Auto. So Marvel comics have introduced a female Muslim superhero.. Her Kryptonite is soap. What's a Jew's ultimate dilemma ?. Free pork chops. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 10th, 2013, 05:59 AM	#126
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I think I may have upset my new flat mate today, when I mentioned the stupid beard and handlebar moustache. Apparently I'm not supposed to see her without her burka on. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 10th, 2013, 03:58 PM	#127
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	Q. What's the difference between a condom and a coffin.........?? A. You cum in one and go in the other! Q. What's the difference between a coffin and a condom....?? Q. Nothing, they both hold stiffs! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 12th, 2013, 08:27 AM	#128
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	How do you circumcise a Catholic priest? Kick a choir boy in the chin. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 12th, 2013, 02:31 PM	#129
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	How do you know the times long overdue to take your washing to the launderette ?. When you find yourself having to wear your wank sock to work. What does a Catholic shout out during sex ? Get off me, Father. Jenna Jameson is returning to porn, saying that she's doing it for her children. Lucky bastards. My mum won't even get undressed in front of me. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 12th, 2013, 03:35 PM	#130
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	A Catholic priest whose hobby is keeping chickens has lost his prize rooster, so he decides to ask the congregation on Sunday if they know of its whereabouts............ "Tell me", he says, "has anybody here seen a cock?" Threequarters of the female congregation stand up. "No, no, I mean has anybody here seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half the female congregation stand up sheepishly. "No, no, I mean has anybody here seen my cock?" All the choirboys stand up! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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