Post your corny jokes - Page 1421

**photoflex** · January 20th, 2019, 09:07 PM

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator.

**mrfixit** · January 21st, 2019, 01:40 AM

**seldomseen** · January 21st, 2019, 02:09 AM

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

**trailmaster** · January 21st, 2019, 12:52 PM

Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of whatever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then starts to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" asks the farmer. And the guy replies, "My friend is out picking watermelons!"

**seldomseen** · January 21st, 2019, 03:13 PM

What type of bird gives the best head?

A swallow.

**seldomseen** · January 21st, 2019, 05:44 PM

**gedly** · January 22nd, 2019, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

My Russian wife was delighted when she got her visa to stay in the country permanently. I didn't realise she'd have to stay in London for three months to get it though.

Her younger sister has just turned up. Says my wife wants a divorce and that she wants to marry me. Oh well, better luck this time!

**mrfixit** · January 23rd, 2019, 01:35 AM

**photoflex** · January 23rd, 2019, 09:08 PM

Just for the record,
someone born in 33 was 45 in 78.

**gedly** · January 23rd, 2019, 10:10 PM

Police are still struggling to find the people suspected of stealing a shipment of inflatable matresses. It is feared they may have decided to lie low.

January 20th, 2019, 09:07 PM	#14201
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,844 Times in 3,571 Posts	I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

January 21st, 2019, 01:40 AM	#14202
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

January 21st, 2019, 02:09 AM	#14203
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 712,128 Times in 38,112 Posts	How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

January 21st, 2019, 03:13 PM	#14205
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 712,128 Times in 38,112 Posts	What type of bird gives the best head? A swallow. __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

January 21st, 2019, 05:44 PM	#14206
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 712,128 Times in 38,112 Posts	__________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

January 21st, 2019, 12:52 PM	#14204
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,569 Times in 60,104 Posts	Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of whatever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then starts to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" asks the farmer. And the guy replies, "My friend is out picking watermelons!"

January 23rd, 2019, 01:35 AM	#14208
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

January 23rd, 2019, 09:08 PM	#14209
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,844 Times in 3,571 Posts	Just for the record, someone born in 33 was 45 in 78. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

January 23rd, 2019, 10:10 PM	#14210
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,903 Thanked 69,345 Times in 3,173 Posts	Police are still struggling to find the people suspected of stealing a shipment of inflatable matresses. It is feared they may have decided to lie low.