July 16th, 2009, 09:42 AM | #31 | |
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I wish Lately i've been having too much of this And not enough of this Leaving me feeling like this Ps , Know i shouldn`t really have mentioned the walker on the open page as it`s obviously embarrassed you. Just a quick word though , tell Agnes (She left her cardigan behind and her name was on the tag) that i`m forwarding her walker to "Crumbling Cartilage Retirement Home " so not to worry . Also i found a magazine on the seat as well , now i was going to send that to but i noticed your name was written on the back page . What i`m saying is have you still got articels to read , or can i bin it
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August 8th, 2009, 03:52 PM | #32 |
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August 13th, 2009, 03:51 PM | #33 |
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Rejoice for what was lost hath now been re-founded . Namely my deferential montage (I don`t really know what that means ) to he of the slack jawed smile and rusted brain
The secret diary of Gordon Brown aged 58¾ 11.00am - Wakes up 11.03am - Shaves 11.10am - Breakfast with cabinet 11.30am - Reminisces about the good days 12.00pm - Does 20 minutes of Ti Chi 12.20pm - Decides todays firm policy 12.21pm - Erm ? 12.30pm - Hmmm ? 12.40pm - Duuuh ? 13.00pm - Reassures nation 13.10pm - Watches one trillion magically vanish 13.30pm - Sucks a lemon 13.50pm - Worries that people might discover his true IQ 13.51pm - Remembers the people are more clueless than him 13.55pm - Then accidentally see`s a member of that public 14.00pm - Visitation with his son 14.03pm - Play`s rock paper scissors 14.10pm - Thanks his ex-wife for bringing son 14.30pm - Has photo opportunity with brave cannon fodder 14.35pm - Writes to pen pal Who three days later returns to sender 15.00pm - Reassures nation again 15.20pm - Looks at Rolex 15.30pm - Smashes economy around for a bit 15.40pm - Explains the sacrifices we`ll have to make 16.00pm -Checks his own pension plan 11.00pm - Prays that something distracting and terrible happens during the night 12.01am - Thinks about population and yawns (Or smiles, i mean who can tell the difference ?) 12.05am - Puts on pajamas 12.06am till 11.00am - Dreams oh so sweetly " Smile this wide otherwise you`ll all get another tour " "You taught me everything i know about democracy " "Together we can achieve grate things " "Only 30 minutes ?, but together we can achieve great things " " Oooooo that cloud looks like a pointy hat " "Ok , ok i`m going " "So much to do zzzzzzz" "Pah , i have my own destiny " "RIP eCONomy " "Faster , realities catching up " Oh well things can only get bitter
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October 7th, 2009, 01:49 PM | #34 |
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November 15th, 2009, 09:30 PM | #35 |
Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994
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Men Problems...!!!
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist AND When we have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy. Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them.... Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old, You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing
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November 15th, 2009, 09:33 PM | #36 |
Kurt Cobain 1967- 1994
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Man of the year contest.....
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November 18th, 2009, 07:44 PM | #37 |
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Leaking dog....
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November 21st, 2009, 10:22 AM | #38 |
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November 21st, 2009, 10:47 AM | #39 | |
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November 21st, 2009, 01:26 PM | #40 |
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Sleeping dogs
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?' |
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