Post your corny jokes - Page 1406

MaxJoker · November 25th, 2018, 01:36 PM

What did Salvador Dalí always start his day with ? ,

Surreal.

**Sir Honkers** · November 25th, 2018, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

What did Salvador Dalí always start his day with ? ,

Surreal.]

Speaking of which, did you hear about the woman found beaten to death by a box of Froot Loops?
Police are looking for a cereal killer.

**captpike** · November 25th, 2018, 09:19 PM

**mrfixit** · November 26th, 2018, 02:41 AM

**trailmaster** · November 26th, 2018, 01:21 PM

John goes to see his boss and says, "We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short handed, John," the boss replies. "I just can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says John, "I knew I could count on you!"

MaxJoker · November 26th, 2018, 02:33 PM

What does Satan hate most about Christmas ? ,

Getting letters from young Dyslexics.

**rockernut** · November 26th, 2018, 04:38 PM

My grief counsellor died recently but luckily he was so good I didn't give a shit.

**Mister Fide** · November 26th, 2018, 05:08 PM

Teacher: Now then Starkey, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Ringo: I want to be a drummer, sir.

Teacher: Well, make your mind up lad, because you can't do both.

**gedly** · November 26th, 2018, 06:55 PM

My heart was racing today.
The rest of me just stayed in bed.

**trailmaster** · November 27th, 2018, 01:28 PM

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"... The Jewish man replied, "I have no water . Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!" "OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom." Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said, "Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"

November 25th, 2018, 01:36 PM	#14051
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,896 Times in 69,067 Posts	What did Salvador Dalí always start his day with ? , Surreal. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 25th, 2018, 09:19 PM	#14053
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,438 Thanked 47,316 Times in 1,164 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 26th, 2018, 02:41 AM	#14054
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,037 Thanked 114,859 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

November 26th, 2018, 02:33 PM	#14056
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,896 Times in 69,067 Posts	What does Satan hate most about Christmas ? , Getting letters from young Dyslexics. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 26th, 2018, 01:21 PM	#14055
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,584 Times in 60,107 Posts	John goes to see his boss and says, "We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short handed, John," the boss replies. "I just can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says John, "I knew I could count on you!"

November 26th, 2018, 04:38 PM	#14057
rockernut Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 6,958 Thanks: 69,669 Thanked 73,322 Times in 6,969 Posts	My grief counsellor died recently but luckily he was so good I didn't give a shit.

November 26th, 2018, 05:08 PM	#14058
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,988 Times in 890 Posts	Teacher: Now then Starkey, what do you want to be when you grow up? Ringo: I want to be a drummer, sir. Teacher: Well, make your mind up lad, because you can't do both.

November 26th, 2018, 06:55 PM	#14059
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,903 Thanked 69,346 Times in 3,173 Posts	My heart was racing today. The rest of me just stayed in bed.

November 27th, 2018, 01:28 PM	#14060
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,584 Times in 60,107 Posts	A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"... The Jewish man replied, "I have no water . Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!" "OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom." Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said, "Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"