Post your corny jokes - Page 1405

**brk549** · November 19th, 2018, 02:22 PM

I didn't understand the last part Pud but I think I get what they are trying to do.Lets just hope they don't try to help anything else or they'll screw it up too.

MaxJoker · November 19th, 2018, 03:15 PM

What's the most commonly misspelled blood group ? ,

Type O.

MaxJoker · November 21st, 2018, 12:13 PM

What do a midget and a dwarf have in common ? ,

Very little.

**trailmaster** · November 22nd, 2018, 09:14 PM

Two kids are in a hospital each lying on a stretcher next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "what are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?" The first kid says, "a circumcision." The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."

**mrfixit** · November 22nd, 2018, 11:52 PM

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"
"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!
"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling,
"Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"

**trailmaster** · November 23rd, 2018, 08:48 PM

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed "Who wrote this crap?"

Aaron · November 24th, 2018, 11:02 AM

Me: I've got a great Knock-Knock joke. You start it.
You: Knock! Knock!
Me: Who-o-o's ther-r-re?

**photoflex** · November 24th, 2018, 06:09 PM

This is me, every shop!

**vo1v0d** · November 25th, 2018, 01:48 AM

Unsuitable for those who have a mental age over five
Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry; it's only a joke.

**Sir Honkers** · November 25th, 2018, 04:01 AM

Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory?
All that was left was da Brie

November 19th, 2018, 03:15 PM	#14042
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,902 Times in 69,067 Posts	What's the most commonly misspelled blood group ? , Type O. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 21st, 2018, 12:13 PM	#14043
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,902 Times in 69,067 Posts	What do a midget and a dwarf have in common ? , Very little. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 22nd, 2018, 11:52 PM	#14045
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 166,060 Thanked 114,860 Times in 9,416 Posts	Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!" "Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole! "Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

November 24th, 2018, 06:09 PM	#14048
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,846 Times in 3,571 Posts	This is me, every shop! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

November 19th, 2018, 02:22 PM	#14041
brk549 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,122 Thanks: 20,226 Thanked 7,179 Times in 1,046 Posts	I didn't understand the last part Pud but I think I get what they are trying to do.Lets just hope they don't try to help anything else or they'll screw it up too.

November 22nd, 2018, 09:14 PM	#14044
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,597 Times in 60,107 Posts	Two kids are in a hospital each lying on a stretcher next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "what are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze." The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?" The first kid says, "a circumcision." The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."

November 23rd, 2018, 08:48 PM	#14046
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,933 Thanks: 1,329,434 Thanked 707,597 Times in 60,107 Posts	A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed "Who wrote this crap?"

November 24th, 2018, 11:02 AM	#14047
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	Me: I've got a great Knock-Knock joke. You start it. You: Knock! Knock! Me: Who-o-o's ther-r-re?

November 25th, 2018, 01:48 AM	#14049
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,333 Thanks: 42,650 Thanked 61,392 Times in 7,551 Posts	Unsuitable for those who have a mental age over five Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? Don't cry; it's only a joke.

November 25th, 2018, 04:01 AM	#14050
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,418 Thanks: 287,352 Thanked 387,002 Times in 30,374 Posts	Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory? All that was left was da Brie