Post your corny jokes - Page 1401

**ball7** · November 4th, 2018, 06:58 AM

Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair - GEORGE BURNS

**PJayBr** · November 4th, 2018, 01:57 PM

I wanted to go and see Bohemian Rhapsody, but....

THEY WOULD NOT LET ME GO!!!!

Aaron · November 4th, 2018, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJayBr

I wanted to go and see Bohemian Rhapsody, but....

THEY WOULD NOT LET ME GO!!!!

At least you had good weather. Thunderbolts and lightning locally kept me indoors.

**gedly** · November 4th, 2018, 07:07 PM

My wife and I are at it like rabbits. So we're fond of lettuce and carrots....

**trailmaster** · November 5th, 2018, 01:49 PM

A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for one hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic cop shouted to me... "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, Tourettes! now fc..k off you cunt!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8 PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

MaxJoker · November 5th, 2018, 02:55 PM

When it comes to midgets you've really gotta hand it to them ,

As often they can't reach.

**trailmaster** · November 6th, 2018, 01:32 PM

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the tv, and said to his wife, "quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second." "That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started"

MaxJoker · November 6th, 2018, 02:51 PM

Did you hear about the Dyslectic pimp ? ,

Bought himself a warehouse.

**trailmaster** · November 7th, 2018, 09:08 PM

The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles. One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?" Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad thanks" After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?" The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

Estreeter · November 8th, 2018, 09:14 AM

Hello, You've called The Incontinence Hotline ....... Would you hold the line please

November 5th, 2018, 02:55 PM	#14006
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	When it comes to midgets you've really gotta hand it to them , As often they can't reach. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 6th, 2018, 02:51 PM	#14008
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Did you hear about the Dyslectic pimp ? , Bought himself a warehouse. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 8th, 2018, 09:14 AM	#14010
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,852 Times in 60,322 Posts	Hello, You've called The Incontinence Hotline ....... Would you hold the line please __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

November 4th, 2018, 06:58 AM	#14001
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,286 Thanked 209,984 Times in 15,730 Posts	Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair - GEORGE BURNS

November 4th, 2018, 01:57 PM	#14002
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,311 Thanks: 41,645 Thanked 13,692 Times in 1,281 Posts	I wanted to go and see Bohemian Rhapsody, but.... THEY WOULD NOT LET ME GO!!!!

November 4th, 2018, 07:07 PM	#14004
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,310 Times in 3,171 Posts	My wife and I are at it like rabbits. So we're fond of lettuce and carrots....

November 5th, 2018, 01:49 PM	#14005
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,897 Thanks: 1,329,020 Thanked 707,211 Times in 60,071 Posts	A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for one hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic cop shouted to me... "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, Tourettes! now fc..k off you cunt!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8 PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

November 6th, 2018, 01:32 PM	#14007
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,897 Thanks: 1,329,020 Thanked 707,211 Times in 60,071 Posts	A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the tv, and said to his wife, "quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second." "That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started"

November 7th, 2018, 09:08 PM	#14009
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,897 Thanks: 1,329,020 Thanked 707,211 Times in 60,071 Posts	The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles. One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?" Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad thanks" After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to?" Again I answered somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?" The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."