September 22nd, 2013, 04:59 PM | #11 |
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These Syrian chemical weapons are really getting on peoples nerves.
Could this day get any worse ? First my ex got hit by a bus mounting the curb , which backs over her while she screamingly clings to life , and yet brutally mounts the pavement again aiming for her head. Then i lose my job at Stagecoach !
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September 22nd, 2013, 05:08 PM | #12 |
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What's the difference between The British Museum and My garage ?
The British Museum isn't full of dead hookers...
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September 22nd, 2013, 06:03 PM | #13 |
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"You remember when you were giving birth" I said to my wife, "and you were screaming and shouting and saying we'd never have sex again ?"
"Yes" she responded, sheepishly. "Did you mean it ?" "Of course not, silly" she replied. "Good " i said, climbing onto the bed. "So ... if i just move this afterbirth a little to the left and you spread those legs a bit wider..."
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September 23rd, 2013, 01:57 PM | #14 |
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I'm going too hell
A husband and wife are lying in bed just talkin' about love, God, sex. The husband just wants too fuck , but as usual the wife tries too turn it into a love thing She makes a statement that marriage is a heavenly institution and God watches married couples having sex. So the husband, confused, repeats and asks "God watches married people having sex ?" The wife replies, "Well, God watches everything" The husband replies, "So we're just porn for God, he watches us and jerks off"
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September 24th, 2013, 10:15 AM | #15 |
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Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down and use a lubricant. (Taken from Score Magazine). |
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September 25th, 2013, 12:19 AM | #16 |
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Twisted jokes that will send us ALL to hell? What if we don't go on this thread...oh crap.
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September 25th, 2013, 07:37 AM | #17 |
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Why do women have legs?
So They don't leave a trail like a snail....
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September 25th, 2013, 12:50 PM | #18 |
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Officials have now confirmed that one thousand and seventy three people died during a recent factory fire in Pakistan.
The relatives of both families have asked to be allowed to grieve in private.
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September 25th, 2013, 02:42 PM | #19 |
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My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records... till the librarian kicked me out.
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September 25th, 2013, 03:01 PM | #20 |
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Am I really a paedophile......just because I only sleep with pregnant women
hoping to get a blowjob from the foetus.....
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