October 16th, 2015, 01:49 PM | #61 |
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If dumb was dirt, you'd cover half an acre.
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October 16th, 2015, 02:04 PM | #62 |
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You're so fucking dumb that......
When taught the ABC's, you thought it was an actual word
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April 6th, 2016, 10:26 PM | #63 |
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Your so dumb that when you got a tapeworm it doubled your IQ
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April 7th, 2016, 02:06 AM | #64 | |
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Your last brainstorm came shooting out of your ass You're so fcuking dumb that... You google "your so dumb insults" to fire back
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September 16th, 2017, 02:00 PM | #65 |
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My stupid Larry Ellison story, not him exactly
Hope true anecdotes are acceptable as opposed to witty one-liners...
Was helping a relative install some new carpet in the house they were renting out. One of the tenants asked me what it would look like. I was super excited about it because I'd just snagged the remnants/leftovers from a job for Larry Ellison's presidential office (CEO of Oracle Software at that time). The tenant snidely and stupidly remarked: "I used to work for a software company, so I can picture what it will look like." Her obnoxiously delivered conclusion was stupid on multiple levels: a) Her reference point was a cash-poor, 5th tier software company in contrast to Oracle, a top tier software company second only to Microsoft b) A successful company's presidential office will have carpeting that looks nothing like the carpeting for the software engineers at the same company, much less at a smaller, struggling company. c) A company known for its Prima Donna president will spend more than 10 times what a small, struggling company will spend on its CEO's carpeting. d) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so no two people will share the same taste...but this woman decided she knew what the carpet would look like because she had worked for a software company before. It is relevant to point out that Larry Ellison was one of the most spoiled, Prima Donnas of Silicon Valley as evidenced by the fines he regularly paid for his private plane to violate the noise ordinance of the local airport and surrounding neighborhoods when he broke curfew by having his pilot land between 1:00-4:00 AM whenever it suited him. Mr. Ellison was the kind of guy who was insulted by being compared to Microsoft CEO, Bill Gates, who also went to Harvard University. Larry always had to correct interviewers who made the comparison: "I actually graduated from Harvard." I brought up his character to underscore the style and quality of custom carpeting Mr. Ellison insisted upon for his personal office. He did in fact select an incredibly beautiful, very expensive, custom carpet with a modern take on an Art Deco pattern in green and gold. I was lucky to purchase the remnants for pennies on the dollar because what was left was not sufficient for a 2nd commercial installation. Post Script: The tenant was either too stubborn or proud to ever acknowledge to me that she'd been wrong about what she thought the carpet would look like, but she never again complained about it...and I never again took her opinion into consideration. I diligently responded to all of her requests for maintenance and repairs, but was forever wary of the accuracy of her descriptions. |
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September 16th, 2017, 08:37 PM | #66 |
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You thought Quahog was an actual city.
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September 16th, 2017, 09:47 PM | #67 |
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September 17th, 2017, 12:30 PM | #68 |
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You're so dumb that...
When they made Jello red, and shit brown, it was so you could tell the difference! |
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September 17th, 2017, 01:48 PM | #69 | |
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Q: How are Aggies taught to put on their underwear? A: By memorizing the instructions: Yellow stain in front, brown stain in back! FYI: This joke can be found in the official 'Aggie Joke Book' which is coincidentally published by Texas A & M University. Ironically, capitalizing on self-deprecating humor turns out to be quite lucrative. So that makes the stupid people in this joke...us? |
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September 17th, 2017, 02:23 PM | #70 | |
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I do, however, employ insulated long nose pliers while wearing my wife's latex dish washing gloves for this procedure. And I make the kids leave the room so they don't have to witness my Darwinian death. Translation: I will go to extreme measures to avoid turning a circuit breaker off and having to reset the clocks in that zone. Yup, that's where I live, at the intersection of Lazy and Stupid*. * (Calm down, Mods, I want people to believe it's my metaphorical address so they won't Google it.) |
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