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Old 05-23-2018, 12:02 PM   #13681
Mal Hombre
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I asked the girl behind the counter at W.H.Smith's "Do You keep stationery ?" She replied "Only for the first couple of minutes,Then I start to wriggle"
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 05-23-2018, 01:04 PM   #13682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxJoker View Post
Went into my local bookshop earlier and asked the girl behind the counter

"Do you have that new book out for men with short penises ?"


"I'm not sure if it's in yet" She replied.

"Yes that's the one, I'll take a copy".


This joke make no sense. Stick to twisted jokes. THOSE make sense!
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Old 05-23-2018, 01:31 PM   #13683
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Big Grin Arrrrgh can't believe he tricked me into explaining the obvious , again

Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster View Post
This joke make no sense.
To you maybe

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxJoker View Post
Went into my local bookshop earlier and asked the girl behind the counter

"Do you have that new book out for men with short penises ?"


"I'm not sure if it's in yet" She replied.

"Yes that's the one, I'll take a copy".
You see the corny joke aspect is on the pun of the book title.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster View Post
Stick to twisted jokes. THOSE make sense!
Can I quote you on that


When should you start worrying about your proctologist ?
,

Once you notice he has both hands on your shoulders.
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Old 05-23-2018, 01:31 PM   #13684
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A man was sunbathing in the buff at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself".
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Old 05-23-2018, 01:47 PM   #13685
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Oscar Wilde was sitting with a ghastley painted trollop on His lap,Suddenly She jumped up with a scream "It's sticking out !" "You flatter Yourself,Madam" He replied "It is hanging out"
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 05-27-2018, 06:53 AM   #13686
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In researching my family history, I discovered my Father was a failed stage magician.
This probably explained why I grew up with two half sisters.
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Old 05-27-2018, 06:27 PM   #13687
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 05-27-2018, 10:01 PM   #13688
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Quote:
Originally Posted by machman View Post
In researching my family history, I discovered my Father was a failed stage magician.
This probably explained why I grew up with two half sisters.
He might be my father as well. Mum did say that when she told him she was expecting me he did a pretty impressive vanishing act.
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Old 05-28-2018, 02:39 PM   #13689
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Every so often your girlfriend orders something online and asks you what you think...
and you can honestly say: 'It looks so much better on you!'

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Old 05-28-2018, 09:14 PM   #13690
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A hunchback goes to a bakery. The saleslady asks him what he wants. I would like to have a bread, answers the hunchback. At which the saleswoman says, first swallow the other one.
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