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Old 12-25-2017, 11:02 PM   #13191
gedly
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So my wife unwrapped her present, looked at the bottle of perfume and said, "This must be for your girlfriend, I don't like Christian Dior".
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:02 AM   #13192
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I'm fully aware my girlfriend is blonde,
but I was still surprised when she told me she had filled the freezer
with containers with 5 gallons of boiling water in them.

It would save time on cooking, she thought...
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Old 12-27-2017, 12:16 PM   #13193
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362 days to Christmas and the neighbours have their decorations up already!!
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Old 12-27-2017, 10:11 PM   #13194
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My grandma died today on her 104th birthday.



It was ever so sad, we were only half way through giving her the bumps.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:45 PM   #13195
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Hope this fits the criteria;

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Old 12-29-2017, 07:12 PM   #13196
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I told my wife to stuff the turkey.
Since I didn't tell her what to stuff it with.
I came home to find my pillow inside the turkey
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Old 12-30-2017, 12:17 AM   #13197
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ball7 View Post
I told my wife to stuff the turkey.
Since I didn't tell her what to stuff it with.
I came home to find my pillow inside the turkey
I told my wife to stuff the turkey as well. I saw it on the lawn being ate by the neighbours' cats.
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Old 12-30-2017, 12:29 AM   #13198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pudpuller View Post
Hope this fits the criteria;

This reminds me of the KTVU news anchor who announced the names of crew members on the Asiana 214 jet:

Sum Ting Wong
Wi Tu Lo
Ho Lee Fuk
Bang Ding Ow

https://youtu.be/vuUp0Np7lX4
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Old 12-30-2017, 11:55 AM   #13199
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My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop. Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?" He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
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Old 12-30-2017, 03:31 PM   #13200
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Overheard at the latest AAA meeting:
"I drank to forget"
"So did I"
"Me too"
"Did it work?"
"Did what work"
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