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Old 12-10-2017, 11:53 PM   #13191
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Here are three bands that should never, ever play any concert venue or record any music:

Michael Bolt-Thrower (combination of jazz and death metal)
Motley Cure (anagram of original name, no umlauts...)
Pantera Bread (The Great Southern Breadkill?)

-----

Here is a great name for a cover band who excel at playing '80s hard rock:

Widesnake (male enhancement necessary for the extra girth...)
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Old 12-12-2017, 01:22 PM   #13192
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I called next door to ask the old lady that lives there how she was getting on with her recently fitted stair-lift. “I’m not happy” she replied. ....”In fact, it’s driving me up the wall”
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Old 12-12-2017, 01:55 PM   #13193
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Old 12-12-2017, 04:32 PM   #13194
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Just an obscure reference to my childhood:
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Old 12-12-2017, 10:07 PM   #13195
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Speaking of Donald Trump:

Q. What are Donald Trump's favorite fantasy creatures?

A. The troll and the Grand Dragon...
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Old 12-13-2017, 02:24 AM   #13196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmateurEmale View Post
Q. What are Donald Trump's favorite fantasy creatures?
Easy: himself. Though it is singular.
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Originally Posted by AmateurEmale View Post
A. The troll
As I was saying...
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and the Grand Dragon...
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Old 12-13-2017, 03:05 AM   #13197
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Default Clarification of what I said

@effCup: What I meant was that the Russian trolls hacked the election so that he could win, and a few Grand Dragons from you-know-what-organization [it starts with "Ku"...] endorsed Donald Trump. (David Duke and Thomas Robb are two of these alt-right individuals.)

-----

Q. What happens when the Democratic candidate defeats Roy Moore?

A. The American people will then hear about Roy less...

[True story; my parents were watching FOX News, and they reported that Roy was officially beaten by the Democrat.]
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:17 AM   #13198
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Yeah, my "joke" wasn't quite the same as yours. I was saying: his favourite person is himself, but it's a fantasy not his real self. & he's a (e.g. twit) troll. /shrug/
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Old 12-16-2017, 05:28 PM   #13199
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Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee.
Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling and had various bandages on his body and limbs, spoke first.
Well, he said,'I went into the woods to find a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear came after me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip.
'I went out and found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from the Bible!
But that bear came after me. We wrestled down one hill, until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision might not have been the best way to start..."
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Old 12-16-2017, 05:39 PM   #13200
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Barack Obama's oldest daughter is living the teenage life.
She smokes, drinks, french kisses boys and has joined the KKK
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