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Old 06-07-2017, 09:56 PM   #12691
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The young hen went to the chicken school's careers advisor, and she said:

"I don't want to do what all the other girls do, I want to be different."

The careers advisor thought for a few moments and said:

"How about being a bricklayer?"

The young Hen said:

"Feck off, have you seen the size of those things?"



.

If any actual comedians can turn this into a funny joke, then please feel free.
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Old 06-07-2017, 10:13 PM   #12692
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Some people claim that everybody is created equal.

White -black-asian.
That is true, but let us not speak of the Orange skinned.
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Old 06-07-2017, 10:14 PM   #12693
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Yesterday, I skinned an orange.
Now I'm doing life - due to skinning a President
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Old 06-08-2017, 12:16 AM   #12694
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'Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?"

"Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter"

"Thanks Dad"

"No problem Alan"
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Old 06-09-2017, 04:46 PM   #12695
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"Did you vote for May?"

"Maybe"
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:20 PM   #12696
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I'm pretty sure they're putting Viagra in the water supply ..... because something is definitely up.
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Old 06-09-2017, 11:37 PM   #12697
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What comes up must come down.

-Text seen on bottle containing Viagra pills
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Old 06-09-2017, 11:39 PM   #12698
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She slowly took off her bra and panties.

Unfortanly, nobody bothered to look
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Old 06-10-2017, 12:59 AM   #12699
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I've just bought some Viagra tea bags.

They won't improve my sex life but they will stop my biscuits from going soft.
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Old 06-10-2017, 01:04 AM   #12700
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A female weightlifter visits her doctor.

"I've been taking steroids and I appear to have grown a penis."

"Anabolic?" asked the Doctor

"No, just a penis."
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