Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum
Home Home
Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies

Follow Vintage Erotica Forum on Twitter
Best Porn Sites Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-19-2017, 12:58 PM   #12291
PJayBr
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand......
Posts: 526
Thanks: 712
Thanked 4,600 Times in 519 Posts
PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+PJayBr 10000+
Default

Teacher : What's your favourite letter?

Pupil : G

Teacher : Why's that Angus.......
PJayBr is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to PJayBr For This Useful Post:
Old 02-19-2017, 01:33 PM   #12292
Almero
Vintage Member
 
Almero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,313
Thanks: 11,864
Thanked 20,631 Times in 1,315 Posts
Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+Almero 100000+
Default

A study has found that one in ten people in western countries dont own a single book.
This is of course far less worrying than the study that found ten out of ten Muslims own only one book.


My German plumber accidentally hooked up a gas pipe to my shower...
Looks like old habits die hard.


What's the difference between a woman and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Almero is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to Almero For This Useful Post:
Old 02-20-2017, 02:44 PM   #12293
SanteeFats
Moderator
 
SanteeFats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 19,430
Thanks: 106,057
Thanked 246,207 Times in 19,320 Posts
SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+
Default

A teacher asked Little Johnny if he knew Lincoln's Gettysburg address.
Johnny reply : " I didn't know that Lincoln ever lived in Gettysburg."

A m an with a few ex wives asked a woman to marry him. When she said she had talked to all the ex's and heard some things that worried her. He just said "Oh those are jut old wives tales".
__________________
TANSTAFL- There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
SanteeFats is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post:
Old 02-20-2017, 06:11 PM   #12294
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,777
Thanks: 30,650
Thanked 82,935 Times in 2,741 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
__________________
I love your thanks, but please thank original posters first, then me.
photoflex is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post:
Old 02-22-2017, 11:24 AM   #12295
Staffsyeoman
Vintage Member
 
Staffsyeoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,291
Thanks: 17,450
Thanked 12,402 Times in 1,290 Posts
Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+
Default

The wife lay on her bed, dying. "I have to confess something to you.." "Shh, there's no need..." I said. "But I must, for my conscience's sake...I had sex with your brother, his best friend, your best friend and your father.." "I know, that's why I poisoned you. So shut up and go to sleep.."
Staffsyeoman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Staffsyeoman For This Useful Post:
Old 02-22-2017, 02:39 PM   #12296
bjornnotbjorn
Member
 
bjornnotbjorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 11
Thanks: 915
Thanked 124 Times in 10 Posts
bjornnotbjorn 500+bjornnotbjorn 500+bjornnotbjorn 500+bjornnotbjorn 500+bjornnotbjorn 500+bjornnotbjorn 500+
Default What's the best thing about a blowjob?

10 minutes of silence
bjornnotbjorn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to bjornnotbjorn For This Useful Post:
Old 02-22-2017, 06:07 PM   #12297
SanteeFats
Moderator
 
SanteeFats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 19,430
Thanks: 106,057
Thanked 246,207 Times in 19,320 Posts
SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+SanteeFats 1000000+
Default

After I got married I learned my wife lead a double life. Hers in the morning and mine in the afternoon.
__________________
TANSTAFL- There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
SanteeFats is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post:
Old 02-24-2017, 03:54 PM   #12298
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,777
Thanks: 30,650
Thanked 82,935 Times in 2,741 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

I'm convinced evolution is how we all came to be.
On the other hand, I don't want to go to hell for being an atheist after I die.
So I decided to believe both.

It's a Darwin-win situation.
__________________
I love your thanks, but please thank original posters first, then me.
photoflex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2017, 04:51 PM   #12299
electile disfunction
Vintage Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere flat, that's either hot, cold, or windy ... Canada?
Posts: 1,916
Thanks: 42,101
Thanked 18,139 Times in 1,900 Posts
electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+electile disfunction 50000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by photoflex View Post
I'm convinced evolution is how we all came to be.
On the other hand, I don't want to go to hell for being an atheist after I die.
So I decided to believe both.

It's a Darwin-win situation.
(You have nothing to worry about. God created evolution, therefore no problem. )
electile disfunction is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to electile disfunction For This Useful Post:
Old 02-24-2017, 04:52 PM   #12300
Mal Hombre
El Super Moderador
 
Mal Hombre's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Deepest Hampshire
Posts: 36,021
Thanks: 456,666
Thanked 505,156 Times in 36,351 Posts
Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+Mal Hombre 2500000+
Default

The Catholic Times is to publish an article about contraception,It'll be in a pull out section...
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
Mal Hombre
Mal Hombre is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 01:16 AM.






vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.6.1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.