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Old 02-07-2017, 11:00 AM   #12281
PJayBr
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I've just got a dog that can do magic trickes.

It's a Labracadabra!!!
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Old 02-08-2017, 02:02 AM   #12282
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Why did the anvil have to go to AA?



because it was always getting hammered
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:37 AM   #12283
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Overnight, there was a break in at the Cineworld at Hemel Hempstead. Police estimate that the thieves got away with some 1500 worth of goods: one large popcorn, two hot dogs and a medium diet Coke.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:46 AM   #12284
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What do you call an unpredictable camera

Loose Canon
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Old 02-08-2017, 10:18 AM   #12285
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
What do you call an unpredictable camera

Loose Canon
My kid learned to play Pachelbel's Canon in music class.
He likes to call it Taco Bell's Cannon. He's goofy like that.

Last edited by gmcbee; 02-08-2017 at 10:29 AM..
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Old 02-11-2017, 06:34 AM   #12286
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I was invited to a masturbation party.
I replied "Sorry but I will be unable to come".


I may be getting older, but I remember back in my day,
if you took pics of yourself to show all your mates, you were a faggot.
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Old 02-11-2017, 10:30 PM   #12287
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My girlfriend screamed at me when I put it in wrong hole last night..

I accidentally potted the black ball in pool and lost us a hundred quid.
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Old 02-12-2017, 07:12 PM   #12288
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burnt my hawaiian pizza last night, reckon it needed to go on an aloha temperature


christ that was dreadful pmsl...
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Old 02-12-2017, 10:23 PM   #12289
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You just can't beat a bit of friendly advice from a next door neighbour. I remember my neighbour telling me, "Who in their right mind would break up a patio with a pneumatic drill at 4am in the morning?"
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:19 PM   #12290
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My doctor said "I'm having difficulty interpreting your test result - but I think it may indicate an alcohol problem"

I said "That's okay doc. Try again and I'll come back when you're sober".
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