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Old 11-20-2016, 11:55 PM   #12121
gmcbee
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Originally Posted by jafad View Post
Apparently my new book about poltergeists has been flying off the shelves.
My new book about anger management is all the rage.
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Old 11-20-2016, 11:58 PM   #12122
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My new book about building the perfect basement is a.... best cellar.

(I'm so very sorry, please don't ban me.)
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Old 11-21-2016, 12:13 AM   #12123
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I tried to write a book about sex, but I never published it. It was fucked.
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Just because a woman is willing to fuck on camera doesn't mean she's worth filming.
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Old 11-21-2016, 01:32 PM   #12124
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When I see lovers' names carved in a tree. I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
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Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
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A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, You'll even catch the 4:11 one."
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Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul.
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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Old 11-21-2016, 02:41 PM   #12125
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."
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Old 11-21-2016, 07:43 PM   #12126
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I've just had a book published about gossiping. Everybody's talking about it.
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:01 PM   #12127
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I wrote a book about glue,People couldn't put it down...
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:31 PM   #12128
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I've just written a book about Honesty.


It's not very good.
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Old 11-21-2016, 09:26 PM   #12129
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I wrote a book. A science text that made people weep tears of cold black stone it was so good:

"Cryonics And You."
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Old 11-22-2016, 12:37 PM   #12130
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Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick, "What school?"
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork???!!!"
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Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
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I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?
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