Post your corny jokes - Page 209

**Ernesto75** · September 8th, 2011, 11:17 AM

Did you hear about the sneakiest man in the world?

He didn't tell his wife that he'd been for a vasectomy until after she became pregnant.

**Ernesto75** · September 8th, 2011, 11:20 AM

Young Johnny went to his mother and asked to be excused.

'Wait a minute', said his mother.
'And I'll take you to the bathroom shortly.'

'But I want Grandma to take me', pleaded the lad.

'What's so special about Grandma?' asked his mother.

'Her hand shakes.'

**sweatyhat** · September 8th, 2011, 02:55 PM

Katie Price's skin is now so tanned, it looks the same colour as a hangover piss

What is the toughest part of a man's body?
His cock, because it can stand up to any cnut.

Here's a little tip if you find yourself in hospital for a few days.
Masturbation while hooked up to a heart rate monitor scares the nurses a lot.

The first day of nudist camp is the hardest.

My girlfriend likes me to rub my unshaven chin all over her clit, as do the majority of her friends. Apparaently 9 out of 10 twats prefer whiskas.

What do you call a lesbian couple?
Beauty and the Beast!

I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin sons will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys to be in their mom at the same time.

**Mal Hombre** · September 8th, 2011, 04:28 PM

I've never forgiven My parents for not buying me expensive roller blades -Cheapskates....

**Jeff Vader** · September 8th, 2011, 05:02 PM

Whats the first sign of madness?

Suggs walking up your driveway

**Mal Hombre** · September 8th, 2011, 06:16 PM

Jamie Oliver was aghast that a mouse was seen in His restaurant,He thought the rats had eaten Them all.

**Jeff Vader** · September 8th, 2011, 06:20 PM

Janet Street-Porter goes to a bar and asks the barman "Can I get a large aperitif?"
Barman says "I dont think thats possible"

**Ernesto75** · September 8th, 2011, 07:53 PM

Your honor, I respectully remind you that Muʿammar Al-Qaḏḏâfî promoted himself from mere lieutnant to colonel but never dared to go to general.
Besides, in any modern army he would have been a mere corporal...

**Jeff Vader** · September 8th, 2011, 08:04 PM

I was walking down this road the other day and all the side streets off it had names like 4gb, 2gb, 256mb etc......
It was a trip down memory lane

ajitpd · September 9th, 2011, 12:43 AM

He tied himself to a railroad track in an attempt of suicide. He died of starvation.

September 8th, 2011, 11:17 AM	#2081
Ernesto75 Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 1,106 Thanks: 12,732 Thanked 21,648 Times in 1,096 Posts	Sneaky sod Did you hear about the sneakiest man in the world? He didn't tell his wife that he'd been for a vasectomy until after she became pregnant.

September 8th, 2011, 11:20 AM	#2082
Ernesto75 Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 1,106 Thanks: 12,732 Thanked 21,648 Times in 1,096 Posts	He prefers Grandma Young Johnny went to his mother and asked to be excused. 'Wait a minute', said his mother. 'And I'll take you to the bathroom shortly.' 'But I want Grandma to take me', pleaded the lad. 'What's so special about Grandma?' asked his mother. 'Her hand shakes.'

September 8th, 2011, 02:55 PM	#2083
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,920 Times in 10,563 Posts	Katie Price's skin is now so tanned, it looks the same colour as a hangover piss What is the toughest part of a man's body? His cock, because it can stand up to any cnut. Here's a little tip if you find yourself in hospital for a few days. Masturbation while hooked up to a heart rate monitor scares the nurses a lot. The first day of nudist camp is the hardest. My girlfriend likes me to rub my unshaven chin all over her clit, as do the majority of her friends. Apparaently 9 out of 10 twats prefer whiskas. What do you call a lesbian couple? Beauty and the Beast! I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin sons will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys to be in their mom at the same time. __________________

September 8th, 2011, 04:28 PM	#2084
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,147 Thanks: 772,818 Thanked 855,915 Times in 57,576 Posts	I've never forgiven My parents for not buying me expensive roller blades -Cheapskates.... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 8th, 2011, 06:16 PM	#2086
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,147 Thanks: 772,818 Thanked 855,915 Times in 57,576 Posts	Jamie Oliver was aghast that a mouse was seen in His restaurant,He thought the rats had eaten Them all. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 8th, 2011, 05:02 PM	#2085
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	Whats the first sign of madness? Suggs walking up your driveway

September 8th, 2011, 06:20 PM	#2087
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	Janet Street-Porter goes to a bar and asks the barman "Can I get a large aperitif?" Barman says "I dont think thats possible"

September 8th, 2011, 07:53 PM	#2088
Ernesto75 Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 1,106 Thanks: 12,732 Thanked 21,648 Times in 1,096 Posts	Your honor, I respectully remind you that Muʿammar Al-Qaḏḏâfî promoted himself from mere lieutnant to colonel but never dared to go to general. Besides, in any modern army he would have been a mere corporal...

September 8th, 2011, 08:04 PM	#2089
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	I was walking down this road the other day and all the side streets off it had names like 4gb, 2gb, 256mb etc...... It was a trip down memory lane

September 9th, 2011, 12:43 AM	#2090
ajitpd Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 439 Thanks: 12,340 Thanked 3,494 Times in 381 Posts	He tied himself to a railroad track in an attempt of suicide. He died of starvation. Last edited by ajitpd; June 5th, 2012 at 09:35 AM..