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May 23rd, 2018, 11:00 AM
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#13381 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Went into my local bookshop earlier and asked the girl behind the counter
"Do you have that new book out for men with short penises ?" "I'm not sure if it's in yet" She replied. "Yes that's the one, I'll take a copy". 
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My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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May 23rd, 2018, 12:02 PM
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#13382 |
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El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,134
Thanks: 772,635
Thanked 855,655 Times in 57,564 Posts
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I asked the girl behind the counter at W.H.Smith's "Do You keep stationery ?" She replied "Only for the first couple of minutes,Then I start to wriggle"
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May 23rd, 2018, 01:04 PM
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#13383 | |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,888
Thanks: 1,328,972
Thanked 707,168 Times in 60,062 Posts
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May 23rd, 2018, 01:31 PM
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#13384 | |||
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Arrrrgh can't believe he tricked me into explaining the obvious , again
Quote:
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 When should you start worrying about your proctologist ? , Once you notice he has both hands on your shoulders.
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My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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May 23rd, 2018, 01:31 PM
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#13385 |
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Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: West Midlands
Posts: 33
Thanks: 53
Thanked 236 Times in 33 Posts
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A man was sunbathing in the buff at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself".
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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional |
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May 23rd, 2018, 01:47 PM
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#13386 |
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El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,134
Thanks: 772,635
Thanked 855,655 Times in 57,564 Posts
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Oscar Wilde was sitting with a ghastley painted trollop on His lap,Suddenly She jumped up with a scream "It's sticking out !" "You flatter Yourself,Madam" He replied "It is hanging out"
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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May 27th, 2018, 06:53 AM
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#13387 |
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Vintage Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 508
Thanks: 5,185
Thanked 15,484 Times in 494 Posts
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In researching my family history, I discovered my Father was a failed stage magician.
This probably explained why I grew up with two half sisters. |
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May 27th, 2018, 06:27 PM
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#13388 |
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Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,774
Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
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May 27th, 2018, 10:01 PM
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#13389 | |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,234
Thanks: 19,879
Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts
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May 28th, 2018, 02:39 PM
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#13390 |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 3,583
Thanks: 37,920
Thanked 127,769 Times in 3,570 Posts
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Every so often your girlfriend orders something online and asks you what you think...
and you can honestly say: 'It looks so much better on you!' 
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