It's About Time There Was Some Refined And Sophisticated Wit On This Forum

**retro72** · July 19th, 2009, 02:33 AM

And as such here is Mr Oscar Wilde:

Any other examples of high quality repartee are most welcome if unlikely

**DTravel** · July 19th, 2009, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro72

It's About Time There Was Some Refined And Sophisticated Wit On This Forum

Are you sure you're reading the same forum as the rest of us?

Quote:

And as such here is Mr Oscar Wilde:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxXW6tfl2Y0

Oh.

Quote:

Any other examples of high quality repartee are most welcome if unlikely

And almost certainly will come from the same source.

**Staffsyeoman** · July 19th, 2009, 09:27 AM

Well, to meld sophisticated wit... and the forum 'core values'...

Couldn't find it on You Tube... it's either The Mary Whitehouse Experience or Newman and Baddiel...

Elegant society woman rushes up to George Bernard Shaw and says "We must away immediately Mr Sahe and Make love, for surely if the child of our union were blessed with your brains and my beauty it would be doubly blessed.." "Ah yes, madam.. but what if it were to have my beauty, and your brains?" Assembled company collapse in laughter.. he hooks thumbs in lapels... sweeps through the dounle doors, sweeps them closed behind him... and crumples in a heap "Oh sh*t! I just passed on a surefire shag!"

**billybunter** · July 19th, 2009, 12:14 PM

My wit is always refined & sophisticated!

**NelsonsGoodeye** · July 22nd, 2009, 10:03 PM

just try it! The mods will delete it in a flash!

July 23rd, 2009, 02:32 AM

"Some people are born ignorant and just loose ground the rest of their lives!"-Will Rogers

July 23rd, 2009, 02:36 AM

The problem with wit is some people only have a 50% supply!:>)-wrench24a

**DTravel** · July 23rd, 2009, 05:18 AM

A few from Mark Twain.

"With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."

"When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it."

"There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press."

"The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent."

"The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it."

"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right."

**brianwp** · July 23rd, 2009, 05:53 AM

Woman: You're drunk!
W.C. Fields: And you're ugly, however in the morning I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly.

**brianwp** · July 23rd, 2009, 06:25 AM

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Man: "I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time." WC: "A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy."

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

To the question: Do married people live longer?--Fields responded:
No, it just seems longer.

Never give a sucker an even break.

July 19th, 2009, 02:33 AM	#1
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	It's About Time There Was Some Refined And Sophisticated Wit On This Forum And as such here is Mr Oscar Wilde: Any other examples of high quality repartee are most welcome if unlikely Last edited by SanteeFats; December 5th, 2020 at 12:32 AM.. Reason: removed dead link

July 22nd, 2009, 10:03 PM	#5
NelsonsGoodeye Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 379 Thanks: 802 Thanked 10,038 Times in 373 Posts	refined & sophisticated? just try it! The mods will delete it in a flash!

July 23rd, 2009, 02:32 AM	#6
wrench24a Guest Posts: n/a	A Favorite. "Some people are born ignorant and just loose ground the rest of their lives!"-Will Rogers

July 23rd, 2009, 02:36 AM	#7
wrench24a Guest Posts: n/a	A Problem. The problem with wit is some people only have a 50% supply!:>)-wrench24a

July 23rd, 2009, 05:18 AM	#8
DTravel Lean Mean Screencap Machine Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Better you don't know. Posts: 23,804 Thanks: 10,480 Thanked 207,285 Times in 23,710 Posts	A few from Mark Twain. "With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured." "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." "When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it." "There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press." "The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent." "The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it." "The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I rage and weep for my country. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I can reup screencaps, other material might have been lost.

July 19th, 2009, 09:27 AM	#3
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,268 Thanks: 34,170 Thanked 26,750 Times in 2,159 Posts	Well, to meld sophisticated wit... and the forum 'core values'... Couldn't find it on You Tube... it's either The Mary Whitehouse Experience or Newman and Baddiel... Elegant society woman rushes up to George Bernard Shaw and says "We must away immediately Mr Sahe and Make love, for surely if the child of our union were blessed with your brains and my beauty it would be doubly blessed.." "Ah yes, madam.. but what if it were to have my beauty, and your brains?" Assembled company collapse in laughter.. he hooks thumbs in lapels... sweeps through the dounle doors, sweeps them closed behind him... and crumples in a heap "Oh sh*t! I just passed on a surefire shag!"

July 19th, 2009, 12:14 PM	#4
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	My wit is always refined & sophisticated!

July 23rd, 2009, 05:53 AM	#9
brianwp Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,464 Thanks: 4,856 Thanked 25,700 Times in 1,431 Posts	Woman: You're drunk! W.C. Fields: And you're ugly, however in the morning I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly.

July 23rd, 2009, 06:25 AM	#10
brianwp Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,464 Thanks: 4,856 Thanked 25,700 Times in 1,431 Posts	More W.C. Fields Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. Man: "I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time." WC: "A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy." Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw. To the question: Do married people live longer?--Fields responded: No, it just seems longer. Never give a sucker an even break.

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