Post your corny jokes - Page 824

**rondori** · July 12th, 2014, 04:35 PM

When we began Ranger School, we were told about the local native tribe called the Fugawe. Often on patrol, I overheard the other candidates asking "Whe're the Fugawe?"

**retroanalyst** · July 13th, 2014, 06:27 AM

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts turns 77 today.

Something their customers never have to worry about.

**photoflex** · July 13th, 2014, 08:22 PM

Robin Ince ‏@robinince:

I know it gets said all the time, but football really has lost something since the ball stopped being the head of a vanquished foe.

**seany65** · July 13th, 2014, 08:50 PM

An obscure one that might appeal to the anglo-saxon history buffs:

Q: What was the anglo-saxons' favourite chocolate bar?

A: Ceorli-weorli.

**Almero** · July 14th, 2014, 12:30 PM

Actually, Winnie the Pooh did not want to marry, but the thought of the upcoming honeymoon was driving him crazy ...

**retroanalyst** · July 14th, 2014, 04:16 PM

Angela Merkel is said to be ecstatic after watching Germany's team lift the World Cup.

"She's phoning and texting all her friends, she's so happy"

Said the NSA.

**SanteeFats** · July 14th, 2014, 09:54 PM

You know some one is too fat when they go to Disney Land and the kids want to ride them.

robin999 · July 15th, 2014, 01:45 PM

True love (or lust) is when you have a lump in your throat .... and a piece of sting hanging out the corner of your mouth ....

**SanteeFats** · July 15th, 2014, 02:11 PM

Siamese twin men walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar
stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined
at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft
please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite
conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year,
rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history,
the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British baloney," says John. "Hamburgers and
Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English -
they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

nerdjack · July 15th, 2014, 02:21 PM

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in a pool? Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs lying on the floor? Matt.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs hanging on a wall? Art.

What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen.

What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other? Irene.

July 12th, 2014, 04:35 PM	#8231
rondori Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: New Mexico Posts: 561 Thanks: 36,148 Thanked 14,026 Times in 536 Posts	When we began Ranger School, we were told about the local native tribe called the Fugawe. Often on patrol, I overheard the other candidates asking "Whe're the Fugawe?" __________________ I'm OK, you're UKE: all cultures are multicultural, all races are multiracial. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by rondori; July 15th, 2014 at 04:06 PM.. Reason: puncuation

July 13th, 2014, 06:27 AM	#8232
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 122,077 Thanked 47,469 Times in 3,337 Posts	Krispy Kreme Doughnuts turns 77 today. Something their customers never have to worry about. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

July 13th, 2014, 08:22 PM	#8233
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,843 Times in 3,571 Posts	So true..... Robin Ince ‏@robinince: I know it gets said all the time, but football really has lost something since the ball stopped being the head of a vanquished foe. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

July 13th, 2014, 08:50 PM	#8234
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,658 Thanks: 80,521 Thanked 32,788 Times in 3,536 Posts	An obscure one that might appeal to the anglo-saxon history buffs: Q: What was the anglo-saxons' favourite chocolate bar? A: Ceorli-weorli. __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

July 14th, 2014, 04:16 PM	#8236
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 122,077 Thanked 47,469 Times in 3,337 Posts	Angela Merkel is said to be ecstatic after watching Germany's team lift the World Cup. "She's phoning and texting all her friends, she's so happy" Said the NSA. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

July 14th, 2014, 12:30 PM	#8235
Almero Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: From Russia with love Posts: 1,432 Thanks: 13,926 Thanked 25,346 Times in 1,425 Posts	Actually, Winnie the Pooh did not want to marry, but the thought of the upcoming honeymoon was driving him crazy ...

July 14th, 2014, 09:54 PM	#8237
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,322 Times in 60,962 Posts	You know some one is too fat when they go to Disney Land and the kids want to ride them.

July 15th, 2014, 01:45 PM	#8238
robin999 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 46 Thanks: 177 Thanked 1,398 Times in 43 Posts	True love (or lust) is when you have a lump in your throat .... and a piece of sting hanging out the corner of your mouth .... Last edited by robin999; July 15th, 2014 at 01:55 PM..

July 15th, 2014, 02:11 PM	#8239
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,322 Times in 60,962 Posts	Siamese twin men walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please." The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?" "Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..." "Nah, we don't like that British baloney," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude." "So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

July 15th, 2014, 02:21 PM	#8240
nerdjack Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 53 Thanks: 0 Thanked 539 Times in 49 Posts	What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in a pool? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms and legs lying on the floor? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and legs hanging on a wall? Art. What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen. What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other? Irene.