Post your corny jokes - Page 1332

**gedly** · April 17th, 2018, 06:45 PM

A jury has once again failed to convict a gang of notorious non-stick frying pan thieves. A police spokesman said, "These guys are just Teflon coated".

**bloke57** · April 17th, 2018, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

A jury has once again failed to convict a gang of notorious non-stick frying plan thieves. A police spokesman said, "These guys are just Teflon coated".

I admire the skillet took to post that joke.

~~}[eywood~~ · April 18th, 2018, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

I admire the skillet took to post that joke.

Yeah I'm jealous, but just a griddle

**gedly** · April 18th, 2018, 10:03 PM

The trial has started today of one of the country's most notorious knicker thieves. His defence barrister was in court today with his briefs.

**mrfixit** · April 19th, 2018, 02:50 AM

Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says
“Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
The Chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says “Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says” Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time I’m going to jump off this building and fall to my death!”
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the funeral, the Italian and the Chinese wives are crying and saying “I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me.”
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn’t sad about her husbands death, the blonde replies “Don’t look at me, he packs his own lunch.”

**mrfixit** · April 19th, 2018, 04:04 PM

**mrfixit** · April 19th, 2018, 06:06 PM

a photon walks into a hotel.
bellhop asks if he has any luggage
photon says "no, I'm traveling light"

**gedly** · April 20th, 2018, 04:35 PM

I'll never forget the time my first girlfriend showed me her tits for the first time. I cupped my hands on her firm buns, brushed my thumbs over her pert, erect nipples and felt a lovely jiggle and she giggled uncontrollably.
That's the last time we went to that McDonalds.

**photoflex** · April 20th, 2018, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I'll never forget the time my first girlfriend showed me her tits for the first time. I cupped my hands on her firm buns, brushed my thumbs over her pert, erect nipples and felt a lovely jiggle and she giggled uncontrollably.
That's the last time we went to that McDonalds.

You could have told me you weren't coming back there!
I spent hundreds on hamburgers waiting for a repeat performance!

**mrfixit** · April 21st, 2018, 02:04 AM

A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”
The bartender poured him a beer.
A couple of minutes later, the man said again: “Give me a beer before the arguments
start.”
The bartender poured him another beer.
A few minutes later, the man said for a third time: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”
Thoroughly confused, the bartender said: “Excuse me, when are you going to pay for all these beers?”
The man said: “Now the arguments start.”

April 17th, 2018, 06:45 PM	#13311
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	A jury has once again failed to convict a gang of notorious non-stick frying pan thieves. A police spokesman said, "These guys are just Teflon coated". Last edited by gedly; April 17th, 2018 at 09:54 PM..

April 19th, 2018, 02:50 AM	#13315
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says “Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” The Chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says “Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says” Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time I’m going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the Italian and the Chinese wives are crying and saying “I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me.” And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn’t sad about her husbands death, the blonde replies “Don’t look at me, he packs his own lunch.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 19th, 2018, 04:04 PM	#13316
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 19th, 2018, 06:06 PM	#13317
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	a photon walks into a hotel. bellhop asks if he has any luggage photon says "no, I'm traveling light" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 21st, 2018, 02:04 AM	#13320
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,806 Times in 9,416 Posts	A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.” The bartender poured him a beer. A couple of minutes later, the man said again: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.” The bartender poured him another beer. A few minutes later, the man said for a third time: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.” Thoroughly confused, the bartender said: “Excuse me, when are you going to pay for all these beers?” The man said: “Now the arguments start.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 18th, 2018, 10:03 PM	#13314
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	The trial has started today of one of the country's most notorious knicker thieves. His defence barrister was in court today with his briefs.

April 20th, 2018, 04:35 PM	#13318
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	I'll never forget the time my first girlfriend showed me her tits for the first time. I cupped my hands on her firm buns, brushed my thumbs over her pert, erect nipples and felt a lovely jiggle and she giggled uncontrollably. That's the last time we went to that McDonalds.

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