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Old July 9th, 2014, 02:38 AM   #41
spartaneric
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Daddy said this once to me:
When they were passing out brains, you thought they said rain, and ran for cover.
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Last edited by spartaneric; July 9th, 2014 at 03:41 AM..
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Old July 9th, 2014, 04:13 AM   #42
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If you cut his head off with a chainsaw he wouldn't be any dumber.
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Old July 9th, 2014, 02:59 PM   #43
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He doesn't know if Christ was crucified or went down on the Titanic.
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Old July 9th, 2014, 04:15 PM   #44
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When on a trip to London in 1931, a reporter shouted out to Mahatma Gandhi, "What do you think of Western civilization?"

"I think it would be a good idea!", he replied.


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Old July 9th, 2014, 04:39 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brooksie1946 View Post
Sounds like a quote from Oscar Wilde but in fact its from Winston Churchill

Reminded me of the story of Churchill coming home late one night after a skinfull of alcohol and encountering his maid....... that goes something like.....

Churchill: God, Madam you're ugly

Maid: Why, Mr Churchill.....you're drunk

Churchill: Yes Madam, but in the morning I'll be sober.......but you'll still be ugly.....

this is not remotely here say -it did actually happened but not in the context given here.

It happened in the House of Commons when Churchill was being baited by Nancy Astor one of the very first female MP's whom he despised (the feeling was mutual). During a speech by Churchill -Astor interrupted him by shouting "sit down sir you are drunk" to which Churchill replied "Indeed I might be madam and you are ugly - however tomorrow I will be sober again but you will still be ugly"


I believe that it was in fact an exchange between Labour politician Bessie Braddock and Churchill. She was famously ugly.





The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor ( I believe ), was the famous:

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband I would poison you!"

Churchill: " Madam, if you were my wife I'd take it!"




The actress Mary Anderson while working on the film 'Lifeboat', once asked Alfred Hitchcock, "Which is my better side?"


To which Hitchcock replied, "You're sitting on it my dear!"

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Old July 9th, 2014, 04:42 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanteeFats View Post
Ever catch some one digging in their nose? Here a three from my childhood.
Pick me a Cadillac (yeah an old one huh)?
You clearing the dance hall?
My favorite "are you digging for gold"?
Digging for buried treasures?!?
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Old July 10th, 2014, 06:03 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanteeFats View Post
Ever catch some one digging in their nose? Here a three from my childhood.
Pick me a Cadillac (yeah an old one huh)?
You clearing the dance hall?
My favorite "are you digging for gold"?

"Are you scratching your brains?"
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Old July 10th, 2014, 07:29 AM   #48
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From a Chester Himes novel:

"Sitting in his car, fishing for eels under the bridge."
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Old July 10th, 2014, 10:52 AM   #49
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A quote from Stephen Fry on dealing with hecklers

"If I wanted any shit out of you I'd have given your head a squeeze!"
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God created woman, man created porn... art... porn I get confused still a great combination
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Old July 15th, 2014, 04:33 PM   #50
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You're as useful as a micrometer is too John Holmes
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