Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 28

**sweatyhat** · March 15th, 2014, 09:11 PM

Valentine poem

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't ever surprise
Oscar Pistorius

**rustler** · March 16th, 2014, 05:40 PM

I watched a late night programme on TV the other day about the Holocaust. An old Jewish man said that the Holocaust was the most painful thing that anyone can ever experience.

That's easy for him to say, he's never caught his fcuking foreskin in his fcuking zip has he!

MaxJoker · March 17th, 2014, 02:39 PM

Phew , searchers for that missing Malaysian plane have at least found the Wings...

Sadly Mr and Mrs Wing say they don't know where the plane is though.

How do you find a black man ?.

Sorry was a trick question.

Naturally the answer is , always guilty as charged.

**rustler** · March 17th, 2014, 03:38 PM

Why do white girls go out with black men?...........

To get their handbags back!

**Niblets** · March 17th, 2014, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

How do you find a black man ?.
Sorry was a trick question.
Naturally the answer is , always guilty as charged.

Thanks Maxjoker

That reminds me of a similar joke.

What do you say to a biker in a business suit?
Will the defendant please rise.

This is too small so I'll add some others.

What do you call a Black woman with braces?
A Black n' Decker Pecker Wrecker.

Why do Black people keep chickens?
Teach their children how to walk.

What does it say on the inside of a black person's lips?
Inflate to 20lbs.

What do you call a black boy with a new bike?
A bicycle thief.

What do you call a black name with a new car?
A car thief.

What do you call a black man with a house?
A good thief.

**rustler** · March 18th, 2014, 06:16 AM

Soweto, South Africa....

Two white policemen standing on a street corner when a screaming black man runs past with two burning car tyres round his neck......

'Looks like he is in trouble', says the first policeman.

'He certainly is', says the second. 'One was a crossply and the other was a radial!'

MaxJoker · March 18th, 2014, 03:25 PM

What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base full of soldiers burning and a Pakistani Elementary School full of children burning ?.

Hey don't ask me,

I just fly the drones and press fire.

Why do lions lick each others arses ?.

To get rid of the taste of African.

Can't believe it's been over a week since the Malaysian airplane went missing.

It's literally flown by.

"Jesus loves you."

A nice thing to hear in church.

A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison from your six foot six, five hundred pound cell mate .

Me,

now regretting interrupting the President and requesting an autograph.

gaeldom · March 18th, 2014, 03:34 PM

Two white South African policeman come across a black guy, being swallowed by a crocodile. Only his head is visible.
One turns to the other and says, 'These damn kaffirs are getting damn uppity. That one's got a Lacoste sleeping bag.'

flying saucer · March 18th, 2014, 08:06 PM

A Scots Guard went into a Chemist and produced a battered and torn condom and asked the bloke behind the counter how much it would cost to repair it. The pharmacist looked at it and said with hot patches and vulcanizing, that it would cost 3 pounds. He said you can buy a new one for two quid. The soldier took the condom and said he would come back after consultation. The Scotsman then came back and told the chemist, The Rregiment has decided to rreplace!!!

~~Byegone Daze~~ · March 19th, 2014, 12:15 AM

What’s black and blue and hates sex?
The ten year old in my trunk.

March 15th, 2014, 09:11 PM	#271
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,963 Times in 10,563 Posts	Valentine poem Roses are red Violets are glorious Don't ever surprise Oscar Pistorius __________________

March 16th, 2014, 05:40 PM	#272
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	I watched a late night programme on TV the other day about the Holocaust. An old Jewish man said that the Holocaust was the most painful thing that anyone can ever experience. That's easy for him to say, he's never caught his fcuking foreskin in his fcuking zip has he! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 17th, 2014, 02:39 PM	#273
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts	Phew , searchers for that missing Malaysian plane have at least found the Wings... Sadly Mr and Mrs Wing say they don't know where the plane is though. How do you find a black man ?. Sorry was a trick question. Naturally the answer is , always guilty as charged. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 17th, 2014, 03:38 PM	#274
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	Why do white girls go out with black men?........... To get their handbags back! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 18th, 2014, 06:16 AM	#276
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	Soweto, South Africa.... Two white policemen standing on a street corner when a screaming black man runs past with two burning car tyres round his neck...... 'Looks like he is in trouble', says the first policeman. 'He certainly is', says the second. 'One was a crossply and the other was a radial!' __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 18th, 2014, 03:25 PM	#277
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,905 Times in 69,067 Posts	What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base full of soldiers burning and a Pakistani Elementary School full of children burning ?. Hey don't ask me, I just fly the drones and press fire. Why do lions lick each others arses ?. To get rid of the taste of African. Can't believe it's been over a week since the Malaysian airplane went missing. It's literally flown by. "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison from your six foot six, five hundred pound cell mate . Me, now regretting interrupting the President and requesting an autograph. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 18th, 2014, 03:34 PM	#278
gaeldom Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 378 Thanks: 3,012 Thanked 5,431 Times in 375 Posts	Two white South African policeman come across a black guy, being swallowed by a crocodile. Only his head is visible. One turns to the other and says, 'These damn kaffirs are getting damn uppity. That one's got a Lacoste sleeping bag.'

March 18th, 2014, 08:06 PM	#279
flying saucer Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 33 Thanks: 4 Thanked 618 Times in 28 Posts	A Scots Guard went into a Chemist and produced a battered and torn condom and asked the bloke behind the counter how much it would cost to repair it. The pharmacist looked at it and said with hot patches and vulcanizing, that it would cost 3 pounds. He said you can buy a new one for two quid. The soldier took the condom and said he would come back after consultation. The Scotsman then came back and told the chemist, The Rregiment has decided to rreplace!!!

March 19th, 2014, 12:15 AM	#280
~~Byegone Daze~~ Banned! Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 2,392 Thanks: 26,302 Thanked 29,310 Times in 2,444 Posts	Here are some... What’s black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk.