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December 11th, 2012, 12:15 PM | #1 |
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Cheer Up, Here's The Good News Of The Day
Ever come home from a hard day, or night from that matter...You turn the TV on for the 6 PM news and it's all bad Ya want too throw the remote control at the screen You just want to feel good about the world and hear a good news story for once This is my kind Good Evening Viewers, In Today's News Stories Palestinian and Israeli leaders today almost settled the middle east problems at the UN using just a coin, Heads, Palestine wins all, Tails, Israel wins all... But the coin kept lading on it's edge So they'll try again next year But in today's Top Story.... Teenage pop sensation Justin Beiber was shot to death in New York City. Witnesses said the teen's Limousine pulled up outside the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. His own music was playing through the cars sound system. A man approached the teen and asked him too turn down the music, when the teen refused the assailant then produced a sawn off shot gun and fatally wounded the pop hero The assailant calmly walked away laughing and then signed autographs The NYPD are now making an attempt to find the suspect who they say is middle aged with an Australian accent And in a possible related story, NY police and paramedics are puzzled at the delivery of 100 dozen glazed donuts shaped in a map of Australia only an hour before the teen sensations murder to their stations. Police believe it may have been an attempt to slow response when a call was placed to come too the crime scene That would cheer me up It's over the top, slightly What kind of thing would you want too hear on the 6 o'clock news
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December 11th, 2012, 04:30 PM | #2 |
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Actress Michelle Trachtenberg weds eccentric Portland Maine jazz lover ubu_roi.
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Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder Last edited by ubu_roi; December 11th, 2012 at 05:05 PM.. Reason: forgot how to spell... |
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December 11th, 2012, 04:55 PM | #3 | |
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Quote:
Here's what Faux news really thinks of the demon child. |
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December 11th, 2012, 05:06 PM | #4 |
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Irishman wins world drinking contest. He was a violent thug who kept saying bejauses and fuck. But he's back in hospital now.
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December 11th, 2012, 05:56 PM | #5 |
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XFactor, Britain's Got Talent and IACGMOOHere to end completely, never to return.
Ant and Dec get eaten by kangaroos All smug presenters on television to be shot in a mass cull Jonathan Ross found guilty of speaking crap for years and fined £1m! Internet connections to be free for the whole world-well we can dream can't we?
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There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. 20,000: Milestone reached!
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December 11th, 2012, 08:34 PM | #6 |
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The government announced to give all taxpayers their money back and never again ask for taxes
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December 11th, 2012, 09:07 PM | #7 |
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The founders of Endemol TV have been executed for crimes against world culture.
Meanwhile the Big Brother house is being renovated.
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December 11th, 2012, 10:24 PM | #8 |
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Palestinians and Israelis decide to forget differences and chill out over a few bevvies.
Scientists prove that Man-Made Global Warming doesn't exist and advise everyone to burn fossil fuels with impunity. Simon Cowell's botox treatment fails in horrific fashion. God announces that he's back and despite everything, he still thinks we're worth tinkering with.
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December 12th, 2012, 02:04 AM | #9 |
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Governments worldwide today announced that in all their countries, Pizza Delivery Drivers will be allowed the same rights in road traffic as Police, Fire Brigade and Paramedics. Motorists who fail to give right of way to the delivery vehicles will be brutally beaten by the person to whom the pizza was being delivered and also be banned for 10 years in having pizza delivered too their homes And in other news Fox News is proud to announce that beginning next week... President Obama and Bill O'Reilly will have a daily 7 PM talk show.... The show is modeled somewhere between The Jerry Springer Show and Martha Stewarts household tips...... Viewers will also be invited to call in and discuss their sexual problems on every Friday night episode Happy
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September 18th, 2016, 03:02 PM | #10 |
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In other news today TMZ and Perez Hilton announced that they have Roger Ailes sex tapes available for download.
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