How to have confidence around women

[bloke57]

I have absolutely no idea on any of this. I just do what I do and if they come along for the ride - great. If they don't - then f*ck off.

I've spent half my adult life single and half in relationships, but for a short (if slim) bald, specky git I don't think I've done too bad.

[Butterboy]

Originally Posted by otokonomidori

I forgot to mention drugs.

Cocaine definitely works. Make sure she takes it voluntarily though.

[Butterboy]

Practice. When I first started out in the game I was hopeless, mainly because I got nervous and I'd end up saying stupid things or getting tongue-tied. To me it's a lot like doing presentations, I used to be petrified of doing them so I made myself do loads. I'm still not great but I'm a lot better than I used to be.

I used to have a friend who was absolutely great with women, largely because he had a really good sense of humour - but that wasn't all of it. I make a lot of jokes and sometimes women laugh at them, sometimes they don't, but he would steal all my jokes and then the exact same women who I had told the exact same jokes to would laugh when HE said them! Some people just seem to have natural charm.

[snowy25]

Originally Posted by Sharkhunter

Spot on. I have never really bullshitted with a woman, as this results in overthinking the entire situation. If she's not interested, no loss. Nothing would have come of it anyway. If she is, win/win.

Love the avatar by the way. My favourite restaurant in Prague, now sadly closed down, was in the same district.

That is the thing. If you bullshit at the beginning at some point you will look either a fool or a liar and neither are very good traits. Also any relationship based on a lie is nearly always doomed to failure. Better to be honest and up front as it makes things much easier.

Yes I am off for the first time to see them in April alongside some other Prague sides. I am there for 12 nights so get 2 weekends where I should get to see some games both weekends.

[Sharkhunter]

Originally Posted by Butterboy

I used to have a friend who was absolutely great with women, largely because he had a really good sense of humour - but that wasn't all of it. I make a lot of jokes and sometimes women laugh at them, sometimes they don't, but he would steal all my jokes and then the exact same women who I had told the exact same jokes to would laugh when HE said them! Some people just seem to have natural charm.

I think "natural charm" is overrated as a concept. It is all about timing. If you are trying to get your joke in at the wrong time, the target will often not be listening and may miss part of it. Hence, it will go down like a lead balloon. Strike at the right time, and they'll be splitting their sides.

I have this ability to respond with a (usually lame) pun for most things - if timed badly, it will just disappear into the hubbub. If timed well, it is the funniest thing since the funniest funnyman let rip with the best of his funny book funny jokes.

I can say with some years of experience that women love well-delivered puns, especially if there is a sliver of self-deprecation involved. It shows that you are sharp enough, but don't take things too seriously.

[Sharkhunter]

Originally Posted by snowy25

That is the thing. If you bullshit at the beginning at some point you will look either a fool or a liar and neither are very good traits. Also any relationship based on a lie is nearly always doomed to failure. Better to be honest and up front as it makes things much easier.

Yep. Women actually prefer an honest blunderer to a dishonest fool.

Yes I am off for the first time to see them in April alongside some other Prague sides. I am there for 12 nights so get 2 weekends where I should get to see some games both weekends.

I'm back in June after an age. Compared to my beery student days, I'll be doing more grown up things with the girlfriend though. Classical concerts, expensive restaurants, and wonderfully free walks across Charles Bridge at dawn before the army of hawkers and camera-clicking Chinese tourists pile in.

[Butterboy]

Originally Posted by Sharkhunter

I think "natural charm" is overrated as a concept. It is all about timing. If you are trying to get your joke in at the wrong time, the target will often not be listening and may miss part of it. Hence, it will go down like a lead balloon. Strike at the right time, and they'll be splitting their sides.

I agree about timing but you'd have to see this guy in action, he's one of only 2 men I've ever met who never masturbate simply because they can't take 2 steps without a woman trying to suck their dick. One was a French guy who was incredibly good looking, very suave and sophisticated and didn't say much. Just stood there and women flocked to him.

My friend by contrast wasn't great looking but if timing is part of charm he had natural timing for everything. Not just jokes but lighting a cigarette, buying a drink, spotting an old friend before anyone else did, steering conversations away from or towards things. Like watching an actor who's done 12 takes on a scene and this time he nails it, but he always nails it on the first take.

[Butterboy]

Coincidentally I was watching a sketch show and this piece of advice came up. It's done in jest but but ne'er a truer word spoken. It also makes the very good point that different women respond to different methods. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy52NTKMCPo

[Motorboater]

Don't worry about confidence. It's bullshit.

Figure out how to prevent taking rejection personally. Then I think you're on your way.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by Motorboater

Don't worry about confidence. It's bullshit.

Figure out how to prevent taking rejection personally. Then I think you're on your way.

That's the one
If you can brush it off, you have no problems.
About my mid 20's I learned to laugh it off.