When was Blowjob invented?

[blueballsdc]

Last night I put myself into a trance and let my spirit drift back in time to find out when the blow job was invented. I can confirm that it was invented on November 23, 4004 B.C (the world having been created on October 24th).

Eve was having her period and wasn't interested in having sex with Adam. The conversation went like this:

Adam: Please Eve, I'm so horny!
Eve: You're always horny! I'm not feeling good right now and I don't want you in there.
Adam: Well, how about I stick it in your other hole?
Eve: You want to stick it up my butt? No! That's disgusting!
Adam: Well... How about if you just suck on it a little?
Eve: Ok, I guess that couldn't hurt. (slurp, slurp, slurp)

Of course, Adam came in her mouth when he said he wouldn't and she didn't give him another blow job for years.

[SomePerv]

I'm surprised no one said this already:

When Eve had her first period.

[ohmss1956]

February 24, 1936.

4:27 pm.

[charliels531]

Once I asked a very attractive young lady how she had developed her skill at fellatio. She told me that in junior high school in a year she had "developed" and was asked out by "older men" who had cars. After the first time she went to a drive-in movie, she asked her older sister about things that had happened. Her sister told her that "babies come from storks, not swallows" and showed her "Oklahoma birth control".

[exlog_hedgehog]

First time a hungry woman met a horny man with food who wanted something in return...

[vincehatten]

When was the blowjob invented?

About an hour after alcohol was.

[SanteeFats]

From the beginning of time when ever a woman wanted something from a man.

[b119a]

I'm guessing it was invented by a woman without a great body, thus it became the great equalizer.

[PJayBr]

I'm not sure when it was originally invented, but the time is ripe for reinvention tonight for me...

PJayBr

[BustyWomenLovr]

From Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner - 2000 Year Old Man


Carl: About four days ago a plane landed in Idlewild Airport. The plane
came from the Middle East, bearing a man who claims to be two thousand years
old. He spent the last six days at the Mayo Clinic. Sir, is it true that you
are two thousand years old.

Mel: Oh, boy, Oh, yes.

Carl: You are two thousand. It's hard to believe, sir, because in the
history of man nobody has ever lived more than a hundred and sixty seven years,
as a man from Peru was claimed to be. But you claim to be two thousand.

Mel: Yes I'll be - I'm not yet - I'll be two thousand October 16th. This
month, yes.

Carl: You'll be two thousand. When were you born?

Mel: When I was born - oh, close to two thousand - October the 16th I'll
be two thousand years young. We say young, you know, not to curse ourselves. So
there was little groups of us sitting in caves and looking at the sun and scared,
you know? We were very dumb and stupid. You want to know something? We were so
dumb that we didn't even know who were the ladies. They was with us, but we didn't
know who they were. We didn't know who was the ladies and who was fellas.

Carl: You thought they were just a different type of fellas?

Mel: Well, yes, just stronger or smaller or softer. The softer ones, I
think, were ladies all the time.

Carl: How did you find out they were ladies?

Mel: A cute fat guy, you could have mistaken him for a lady, soft
and cute.

Carl: Who was the person who discovered the female?

Mel: Bernie

Carl: Who was Bernie?

Mel: Bernie, one of the first leaders of our groups.

Carl: And he discovered the female?

Mel: Yes.

Carl: How did it happen?

Mel: He says, "Hey, there's ladies here!"

Carl: I'm very interested to find out how Bernie discovered the
woman. How did it come to pass?

Mel: Well, one morning he got up smiling. He said, "I think there's
ladies here." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "Cause in the night I was
thrilled and delighted." See? So then he went into such a story - it's hundreds
of years later, I still blush.