Post your corny jokes - Page 1226

**photoflex** · May 15th, 2017, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

I just that the inventor of the USB has died,Appartently it took Them several goes to get Him in the coffin..

An old gripe of mine; I used to have a minidisc portable.
With an optical connection cable.
On one side a round plug for the portable and on the other side a complex design to be put in the back of a stationary recorder.
Fitted only one way.
BECAUSE LIGHT HAS TO GO IN THE RIGHT WAY UP!

**effCup** · May 16th, 2017, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photoflex

LIGHT HAS TO GO IN THE RIGHT WAY UP!

You wouldn't want your rainbows upside-down, would you?

**bloke57** · May 16th, 2017, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

You wouldn't want your rainbows upside-down, would you?

It can happen.

**effCup** · May 16th, 2017, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

It can happen.

Did Nasa (or Kim Jong-un) steal the pot o'gold?

**BCFC_1982** · May 16th, 2017, 10:54 PM

What do you call a Psychic Dwarf who has escaped from prison?

A Short Medium at Large

**bloke57** · May 16th, 2017, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCFC_1982

What do you call a Psychic Dwarf who has escaped from prison?

A Short Medium at Large

These sorts of jokes are bad for you 'elf. 'Aven't you got a gnome to go to?

**captpike** · May 17th, 2017, 03:37 AM

**ruffroundedges** · May 17th, 2017, 05:49 PM

- Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

- What do urine samples and American beer have in common?
The taste!

_ What is the difference between a Scottsman and a canoe?
A canoe tips.

- How do you know Adam was a Canadian?
Who else could stand beside a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit?

- A man from Newfoundland went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy newf", so he decided to set a test for the Newfie hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Newfie says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Newfie says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Newfie stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go bye," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Newfie answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the newf so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Newfie stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Newfie's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells Newfie, "Go on, Newfie, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Newfie leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

**bp666** · May 17th, 2017, 08:43 PM

I can't recall when I last made love to the wife.

But it must be at least 3 or 4 stone ago.

**photoflex** · May 17th, 2017, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

I can't recall when I last made love to the wife.

But it must be at least 3 or 4 stone ago.

Go and join a gym, you'll soon drop that weight!

May 16th, 2017, 10:54 PM	#12255
BCFC_1982 Fiona Cooper Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: England Posts: 6,545 Thanks: 109,012 Thanked 106,990 Times in 6,821 Posts	What do you call a Psychic Dwarf who has escaped from prison? A Short Medium at Large __________________ All my later posts (2017+) have 3% recovery records in the RAR files To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. PM me in relation to anything Fiona Cooper

May 17th, 2017, 03:37 AM	#12257
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,321 Thanked 47,306 Times in 1,164 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 17th, 2017, 05:49 PM	#12258
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	- Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back. - What do urine samples and American beer have in common? The taste! _ What is the difference between a Scottsman and a canoe? A canoe tips. - How do you know Adam was a Canadian? Who else could stand beside a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit? - A man from Newfoundland went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy newf", so he decided to set a test for the Newfie hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Newfie says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Newfie says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Newfie stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go bye," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Newfie answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the newf so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Newfie stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Newfie's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells Newfie, "Go on, Newfie, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Newfie leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?" __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 17th, 2017, 08:43 PM	#12259
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I can't recall when I last made love to the wife. But it must be at least 3 or 4 stone ago. Last edited by bp666; May 17th, 2017 at 08:56 PM.. Reason: sp

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode