Lies You've Told The Opposite Sex

Estreeter · January 28th, 2011, 12:36 PM

Lies You've Told The Opposite Sex

Weather you've told them to get out of trouble, get out of doing something, what ones are your best

1, The car broke down......................
I had too be at her place and couldn't be bothered going , she she came too mine, but while on her way I pulled the rotor out of the distributor , just in case

2, I can't cook................
Can only be used once at the start of a relationship

3, You put on weight? Where ? I cant notice it...............
No explanation required

4, Going to the Pub, back in 5 hours......................
But come back in 3 and let her think your responsible

5. Your mum don't look her age, looks more like 45 than 58.............
That was half a lie, she looked around 50, but must weighed 300 pounds

MaxJoker · January 28th, 2011, 12:40 PM

No it`s not what it looks like , i scolded it while frying chips naked

She meant nothing to me , or at least no less than you

Of course you won`t get pregnant , i`ve got my fingers crossed see

P37 · January 28th, 2011, 12:42 PM

Noooo that dress does not make you look fat.....
The three cream cakes and four buns you had do but the dress is innocent of all charges.

MaxJoker · January 28th, 2011, 12:52 PM

No i`m not stealing money from your purse , i`m charging you for services rendered

P37 · January 28th, 2011, 12:58 PM

No I don't mind the streach marks and crows feet.....
As long as you can suck an orange through a garden hose thats just fine by me

No it's okay for you to get a tattoo on your lower back...
Just make it a soduko grid so I can have something to do when I've finnished but you're still expecting me to be interested

MaxJoker · January 28th, 2011, 01:11 PM

Of course your sister wasn`t better , neither was your mother , your father on the other hand

Estreeter · January 28th, 2011, 01:47 PM

I didn't know you made that for dinner, I saw it in the fridge so I ate it

Don't look at me, It was the dog

Your friends seem nice, we should hang out more often

Morons

Of course I care

That went for anything

OK, OK, no more gambling...........
later that same afternoon

P37 · January 28th, 2011, 01:51 PM

No it's fine if your mother comes for a visit this weekend....really it's fine

**tony_grego** · January 28th, 2011, 02:26 PM

...

Yes dear.
As I have explained, just entered this forum to share recipes.

NEVER to see porn !!!.

Salut !

**Carrot74** · January 28th, 2011, 02:37 PM

"This meal tastes pretty good,"

as you try NOT to make a face like a cat that was just given hairball remedy.

"I don't remember seeing those clothes anywhere,"
as you remember that you threw them out last week.

January 28th, 2011, 12:36 PM	#1
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,189 Thanks: 450,165 Thanked 897,588 Times in 60,391 Posts	Lies You've Told The Opposite Sex Lies You've Told The Opposite Sex Weather you've told them to get out of trouble, get out of doing something, what ones are your best 1, The car broke down...................... I had too be at her place and couldn't be bothered going , she she came too mine, but while on her way I pulled the rotor out of the distributor , just in case 2, I can't cook................ Can only be used once at the start of a relationship 3, You put on weight? Where ? I cant notice it............... No explanation required 4, Going to the Pub, back in 5 hours...................... But come back in 3 and let her think your responsible 5. Your mum don't look her age, looks more like 45 than 58............. That was half a lie, she looked around 50, but must weighed 300 pounds __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 12:40 PM	#2
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,895 Times in 69,067 Posts	No it`s not what it looks like , i scolded it while frying chips naked She meant nothing to me , or at least no less than you Of course you won`t get pregnant , i`ve got my fingers crossed see __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 12:52 PM	#4
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,895 Times in 69,067 Posts	No i`m not stealing money from your purse , i`m charging you for services rendered __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 12:58 PM	#5
P37 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: in the deep end Posts: 648 Thanks: 4,235 Thanked 5,572 Times in 620 Posts	No I don't mind the streach marks and crows feet..... As long as you can suck an orange through a garden hose thats just fine by me No it's okay for you to get a tattoo on your lower back... Just make it a soduko grid so I can have something to do when I've finnished but you're still expecting me to be interested Last edited by P37; January 28th, 2011 at 01:15 PM..

January 28th, 2011, 01:11 PM	#6
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,895 Times in 69,067 Posts	Of course your sister wasn`t better , neither was your mother , your father on the other hand __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 12:42 PM	#3
P37 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: in the deep end Posts: 648 Thanks: 4,235 Thanked 5,572 Times in 620 Posts	Noooo that dress does not make you look fat..... The three cream cakes and four buns you had do but the dress is innocent of all charges.

January 28th, 2011, 01:47 PM	#7
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,189 Thanks: 450,165 Thanked 897,588 Times in 60,391 Posts	I didn't know you made that for dinner, I saw it in the fridge so I ate it Don't look at me, It was the dog Your friends seem nice, we should hang out more often Morons Of course I care That went for anything OK, OK, no more gambling........... later that same afternoon __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 01:51 PM	#8
P37 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: in the deep end Posts: 648 Thanks: 4,235 Thanked 5,572 Times in 620 Posts	No it's fine if your mother comes for a visit this weekend....really it's fine

January 28th, 2011, 02:26 PM	#9
tony_grego Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Catalonia Posts: 872 Thanks: 3,862 Thanked 8,718 Times in 846 Posts	... Yes dear. As I have explained, just entered this forum to share recipes. NEVER to see porn !!!. Salut ! __________________ No matter where we come from, whether north or south. A flag will unite. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 02:37 PM	#10
Carrot74 Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Up in the Frozen North Posts: 956 Thanks: 76,105 Thanked 9,346 Times in 954 Posts	"This meal tastes pretty good," as you try NOT to make a face like a cat that was just given hairball remedy. "I don't remember seeing those clothes anywhere," as you remember that you threw them out last week.