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December 3rd, 2016, 02:03 AM | #3191 |
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Granted. I click it and...hang on!...you're all still here. What a gyp!
I wish to get my money back. Last edited by Sir Honkers; December 3rd, 2016 at 10:46 AM.. Reason: I forgot to make a wish again. Damn senility! |
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December 3rd, 2016, 11:44 AM | #3192 |
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Wish granted. You have all your money back, however the bills are so old they are all crinkly and falling apart. When you take them to the bank to deposit it, the bank manager says that those bills are no good. They are ready to be destroyed.
I wish that everytime it snows in Chicago, instead of snow coming down, cooked pizzas would fall out of the sky instead! |
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December 3rd, 2016, 05:04 PM | #3193 | |
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Quote:
I wish to live out my days (as a human) on a farm in a house close the mountains and a river teaming with live fresh salmon. Last edited by Fappy Gilmore; December 3rd, 2016 at 05:13 PM.. |
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December 3rd, 2016, 07:07 PM | #3194 | |
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Quote:
Now that I am fully retired with plenty of time on my hands, I wish that the twenty-something, dropdead gorgeous brunette in the other apartment on our floor would invite me in for coffee....without the coffee. |
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December 3rd, 2016, 11:23 PM | #3195 | |
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Quote:
I wish I had a talking dog and a golf cart. |
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December 4th, 2016, 10:24 AM | #3196 |
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Granted. Deaf as a post genie thought you said 'I wish I was walking the dog with a hole in the heart.'The VEF membership organises yet another whip-around to buy you a pauper's funeral, but all they collect is three buttons and an 'I love Jimmy Savile' badge.
I wish that shortly before TM's arrival for a holiday on Rottnest Island, an evolutionary quirk turned all the quokkas carnivorous. |
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December 4th, 2016, 09:57 PM | #3197 |
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Wish granted for one microsecond, but then the mighty voice of God is heard;
"I shall not let one of my best creations become carnivorous." "I return thee to your previous state" "Go forth and be the world's friendliest creature" I wish that loosegoose would get a hole in one at his favorite golf course and then have to buy an entire feast for all his golfing buddies!! |
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December 4th, 2016, 11:29 PM | #3198 |
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Granted: LG gets a hole in one on a par 4 at his favorate course. In celebration he organizes the victory feast for all his buddies and for Trailmaster too in appreciation of his support. As Trailmaster enters the banquet hall he knocks over Loosegooses golf bag and carnivorous quokkas jump out. Devouring Trailmaster first they rampage through the countryside eating anything protein based.
We mourn. I wish all the freezing rain and snow that fell in Ontario fell on Chicago instead.
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Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by ruffroundedges; December 4th, 2016 at 11:29 PM.. Reason: spelling |
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December 5th, 2016, 05:18 PM | #3199 |
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Wish granted, but weather fronts are usually followed by a cold snap in winter. So to push things further down from the north, trailmaster gets the snow, and you get 50 degrees below zero in Ontario.
I wish for a bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich and a baccarat crystal glass to drink it out of.
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So much porn, so little time... |
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December 7th, 2016, 12:51 PM | #3200 |
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Wish granted. You come home from work and find on a small coffee table in front of your living room fireplace a giftwrapped bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich Scotch and a gift wrapped baccarat crystal glass. You smack your lips in satisfaction. First you start the fire going in the fireplace. You think to yourself: I am going to get a warm fire going before I settle in my favorite chair and enjoy my scotch. Then you unwrap the scotch and glass. There is no card and you think:' "Hmmm, I wonder where this came from" . You open the scotch and pour out some of it into the crystal glass. You swirl the scotch around in the glass, all the while anticipating the fantastic taste that awaits you. You drink from the glass and then you face has a horrible look on it and you spit the scotch out into the fireplace. You scream. "This damn stuff tastes like vinegar"
Shiiiiiiit, and in your disgust throw the bottle into the fireplace without thinking. Whooose the alcohol explodes and a stream of hot fire and ash blast out of the fireplace and your drapes catch on fire. Damn you scream and run to the kitchen to get water, but it is too late. By the time you get back your whole livingroom is on fire. You run to the phone, but it is dead. On the table is a piece of paper from the phone company saying that since you failed to pay the last three bills you phone service was cut off. You run to the bedroom and tear off a sheet and go to your bathroom and soak the sheet with water, and try to use it to snuff out the flames. Then you notice that your pants are on fire, and up you go a scorching, screaming living torch. The smoke alarms in your house go on and this alerts the fire department, who come within ten minutes. You hear through the extreme pain a fire axe cutting your front door down. Just as the firemen come in you collapse into a burned out corpse. I wish for a grand Christmas/New Years party in my building lobby like we had two years ago. |
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