Post your corny jokes - Page 277

**rustler** · November 20th, 2011, 01:48 PM

What's the difference between a new penny and the River Mersey??

Well, ones bright and shiny ......

**rustler** · November 20th, 2011, 01:54 PM

Evidentally, many people are worried about the end of the world in December 2012.....

I hear that churches will organise fast-track communions, all the mosques will offer a last chance for conversion ....................and synagogues will hold closing-down sales.

**Jeff Vader** · November 20th, 2011, 02:33 PM

Anyone want to pay me £150 to see Justin Bieber live?

This isn't a ticket offer, it's a ransom note.

**cuzzyman927** · November 20th, 2011, 04:49 PM

Little Jimmy was a nice little boy. Unfortunately, a birth defect left him without the use of his hands, so every time he needed to go to the bathroom and pee someone would have to hold "it" for him.
So one day while his mother was bringing him to the bathroom as she often would, she was starting to unzip his zipper and little Jimmy said to his mother, Ma, I don't want that you should hold for me."
So his mother, somewhat perplexed, said to him, You don't? Then who do you want should hold it for you? Do you want daddy to hold it for you?
Little Jimmy sharply replied back, No!
His mother asks, Then do you want your brother should hold it for you?
No!, he sharply replied!
Then do you want your sister should hold it for you?
No!, he again sharply replied!
Then who do you want should hold it for you, mother asks?
I want grandma should hold it for me, he says.
So mother asks, why do you want grandma should hold it for you?
He smiles at his mother and says, Because her hand shakes!

**Jeff Vader** · November 20th, 2011, 05:25 PM

I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and not get any dirty looks.

**electile disfunction** · November 20th, 2011, 05:33 PM

He who farts in church sits in own pew ...

**Jeff Vader** · November 20th, 2011, 07:32 PM

I've just bought some of that 007 Viagra. It makes you roger more!

**rustler** · November 20th, 2011, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Vader

I've just bought some of that 007 Viagra. It makes you roger more!

Ha, that again reminds me of Jordan...........

she's been rogered more times than a police radio!!

**TCO95** · November 21st, 2011, 01:25 AM

Definition of a Hypocrite :
An atheist who writes a book and prays it sells.

sesamus · November 21st, 2011, 02:20 AM

I used t be a Werewolf but I am alright Noooooowwwwwww!

November 20th, 2011, 01:48 PM	#2761
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	What's the difference between a new penny and the River Mersey?? Well, ones bright and shiny ...... __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 20th, 2011, 01:54 PM	#2762
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	Evidentally, many people are worried about the end of the world in December 2012..... I hear that churches will organise fast-track communions, all the mosques will offer a last chance for conversion ....................and synagogues will hold closing-down sales. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

November 20th, 2011, 02:33 PM	#2763
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	Anyone want to pay me £150 to see Justin Bieber live? This isn't a ticket offer, it's a ransom note. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 20th, 2011, 05:25 PM	#2765
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and not get any dirty looks. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 20th, 2011, 07:32 PM	#2767
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,021 Times in 6,511 Posts	I've just bought some of that 007 Viagra. It makes you roger more! __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

November 20th, 2011, 04:49 PM	#2764
cuzzyman927 Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Down at the "Y" Posts: 33,073 Thanks: 390,390 Thanked 1,111,472 Times in 36,682 Posts	Little Jimmy was a nice little boy. Unfortunately, a birth defect left him without the use of his hands, so every time he needed to go to the bathroom and pee someone would have to hold "it" for him. So one day while his mother was bringing him to the bathroom as she often would, she was starting to unzip his zipper and little Jimmy said to his mother, Ma, I don't want that you should hold for me." So his mother, somewhat perplexed, said to him, You don't? Then who do you want should hold it for you? Do you want daddy to hold it for you? Little Jimmy sharply replied back, No! His mother asks, Then do you want your brother should hold it for you? No!, he sharply replied! Then do you want your sister should hold it for you? No!, he again sharply replied! Then who do you want should hold it for you, mother asks? I want grandma should hold it for me, he says. So mother asks, why do you want grandma should hold it for you? He smiles at his mother and says, Because her hand shakes!

November 20th, 2011, 05:33 PM	#2766
electile disfunction Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Somewhere flat, that's either hot, cold, or windy ... Canada? Posts: 1,966 Thanks: 42,100 Thanked 21,353 Times in 1,903 Posts	He who farts in church sits in own pew ...

November 21st, 2011, 01:25 AM	#2769
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,804 Times in 5,130 Posts	Definition of a Hypocrite : An atheist who writes a book and prays it sells.

November 21st, 2011, 02:20 AM	#2770
sesamus Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 72 Thanks: 297 Thanked 915 Times in 66 Posts	I used t be a Werewolf but I am alright Noooooowwwwwww!