Post your corny jokes - Page 826

**rosestone** · July 17th, 2014, 04:06 PM

What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student after he brought a pin into the inflatable school?

You've let me down, you've let yourself down, you've let the whole school down…...

**tygrkhat40** · July 18th, 2014, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Looks like you blew a seal.
No, man. That's just ice cream.

I took my car to the repair shop and the mechanic said, "Looks like you blew a seal."

I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it."

**photoflex** · July 18th, 2014, 11:09 PM

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says,
"Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it."
"My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks,
"Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

**rosestone** · July 19th, 2014, 08:09 AM

I forgot to pick up my wife's epilepsy medicine from the pharmacy.

She'll have a fit when I get home.

**gedly** · July 19th, 2014, 10:59 AM

I tried some of that pepper spray on my pizza last night. Now I've had some hot curries in my time......

**tygrkhat40** · July 19th, 2014, 03:36 PM

I found out my car can stop on a dime. Unfortunately that dime was in an armored car.

**DrBone** · July 19th, 2014, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygrkhat40

I found out my car can stop on a dime. Unfortunately that dime was in an armored car.

I found out my car can stop on a dime....

It was my bloody dime...it was in his bloody pocket...and I wanted it back...

I should never ha given it to the Bum...

**luddite** · July 19th, 2014, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygrkhat40

I found out my car can stop on a dime. Unfortunately that dime was in an armored car.

You have to get the new Firestein radials made in Israel, they can stop on a dime and pick it up !

**SanteeFats** · July 20th, 2014, 03:43 PM

Went to get my haircut the other day. I asked the man to just take the grey out. The butthead shaved me!!!!

**effCup** · July 20th, 2014, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SanteeFats

I asked the man to just take the grey out. The butthead shaved me!!!!

Could've been worse: could've been a lobotomy.

July 18th, 2014, 11:09 PM	#8253
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,584 Thanks: 37,948 Thanked 127,842 Times in 3,571 Posts	An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down." He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?" __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

July 19th, 2014, 03:36 PM	#8256
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,922 Times in 9,629 Posts	I found out my car can stop on a dime. Unfortunately that dime was in an armored car. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 17th, 2014, 04:06 PM	#8251
rosestone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 2,256 Thanks: 79,772 Thanked 37,956 Times in 2,261 Posts	What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student after he brought a pin into the inflatable school? You've let me down, you've let yourself down, you've let the whole school down…...

July 19th, 2014, 08:09 AM	#8254
rosestone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 2,256 Thanks: 79,772 Thanked 37,956 Times in 2,261 Posts	I forgot to pick up my wife's epilepsy medicine from the pharmacy. She'll have a fit when I get home.

July 19th, 2014, 10:59 AM	#8255
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,903 Thanked 69,345 Times in 3,173 Posts	I tried some of that pepper spray on my pizza last night. Now I've had some hot curries in my time......

July 20th, 2014, 03:43 PM	#8259
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,915 Thanks: 282,079 Thanked 815,226 Times in 60,962 Posts	Went to get my haircut the other day. I asked the man to just take the grey out. The butthead shaved me!!!!