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April 30th, 2019, 06:47 PM | #14551 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly
Posts: 683
Thanks: 11,930
Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts
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Betcha I could get my dead ex girlfriend to do it.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson |
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April 30th, 2019, 10:49 PM | #14552 |
Vintage Idiot
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: History
Posts: 22,136
Thanks: 226,730
Thanked 356,770 Times in 21,631 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 05:15 AM | #14553 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Nearly there
Posts: 892
Thanks: 23,075
Thanked 17,987 Times in 890 Posts
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Whenever I take my dog Stay to the park he gets confused.
I throw a stick and shout 'Fetch Stay! or shout 'Come here Stay.' |
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May 1st, 2019, 11:23 AM | #14554 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,354
Thanks: 286,908
Thanked 386,309 Times in 30,311 Posts
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Q: What does a subatomic duck say?
A: Quark |
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May 1st, 2019, 12:41 PM | #14555 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,904
Thanks: 1,329,092
Thanked 707,274 Times in 60,077 Posts
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day. One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?"
"What is it dear?" she asked. He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck." |
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May 1st, 2019, 12:45 PM | #14556 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 38,203
Thanks: 127,400
Thanked 711,993 Times in 38,112 Posts
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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-------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat. |
May 1st, 2019, 12:54 PM | #14557 |
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,145
Thanks: 449,888
Thanked 896,959 Times in 60,345 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 01:57 PM | #14558 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand......
Posts: 1,311
Thanks: 41,720
Thanked 13,695 Times in 1,282 Posts
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May 1st, 2019, 06:27 PM | #14559 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,234
Thanks: 19,883
Thanked 69,317 Times in 3,171 Posts
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When my girlfriend sucks me off, I always wonder who is this Dr. Pepper she keeps mentioning?
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May 2nd, 2019, 06:18 PM | #14560 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Already got my next new years resolution sorted ,
Going to stop using spray on deodorant , Roll on 2020 !.
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